[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey Los Angeles, are you Looking for.
[00:00:02] Speaker B: Unique 4th of July plans for you and your friends or family? LA's greatest rivalry returns to Rose Bowl.
[00:00:08] Speaker A: Stadium for a July 4th edition of.
[00:00:10] Speaker B: The El Trafico soccer matchup. As the LA Galaxy returned to their original home to defend their turf against LAFC last year, a record crowd of over 82,000 fans were on hand to witness the Galaxy victory. That's July 4th at Rose Bowl Stadium. Guaranteed fireworks both on and off the field, and a celebration for all of LA LA Galax vs LAFC. The Rose bowl edition
[email protected] tickets welcome back to now, no Opportunity Wasted. I'm your host, Angelica Ross. Now, for those of you who can see this video, as you can see, see, I'm in a in my recording studio, actually, which I'm now doubling as my podcast studio. So also I made a little switch up. I am not going to be releasing the full video episodes on YouTube. You will still be able to get clips, but I'm going to be saving the full episodes. For those who are going to be subscribing. I will let you all know about how to subscribe. Basically, those who are in the winner circle can get access to those full episodes and subscribe for as little as $4.99 a month to have access to the full episodes as well as a lot of other content that I'm going to be offering.
But it's just a lot of investment. As you can see in the video, I've upgraded my cameras, I've upgraded my microphones, we got lights, we got a lot of stuff. But it costs money and you know, I want to save that kind of extra layer for those who are willing to subscribe and willing to invest in in what I'm investing in. You know what I mean? So it just becomes a lot. I heard Amanda Seals talking about how difficult it was to just deal with the video aspect of things. I'm sure whether it's just the logistics as well as the cost of it all.
So I am running my own video cameras, I am running my own lights, I am many times editing my own videos. But thankfully I have some help. Jared, thank you for helping to edit our podcast episodes, but I wanted to kind of give you that little disclaimer as we get things started. It's Monday, June 9, 2024, and today's Word from Buddhism, day by day was a great reminder for me saying, quote, in any field of endeavor, making a vow is the foundation for achieving something great. If for whatever reason a person gives up halfway or backslides. His or her commitment hasn't been based on a vow. Half hearted desire doesn't amount to a vow. End quote. Speaking of vows, this weekend I had the honor and the privilege of celebrating my friend Hope Giselle Godfrey's wedding vows with her husband Xander. Her friends and her family gathered in Washington D.C. in a reception like celebration where we got to watch the literal film that is their love story. And it didn't just include footage of their stunning ceremony that was beachside in Cancun, but it also showed some intimate moments with her now husband that was by her side as she underwent a biopsy. Now, I did know before that moment that Hope was going through something with her health. And she told me that she was being seen by the best doctors and she was surrounded by love, but that it was something that she wanted to keep private for now. So when I saw that in the film, it was just so beautiful to see this man loving on my friend and standing beside her through some real tough times and showing that their vows are far from half hearted.
Now, my vow right now might not be marital, but I do have a vow as a Buddhist to prioritize world peace and to help others discover their limitless potential and value. I vow to move in integrity.
And with that being said today, I want to offer an apology.
Now, I've said many times before that if and when I am wrong, I will apologize.
Now, although there may be many aspects of my approach that are valid, I want to also highlight where I went wrong.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for the negative energy that I unintentionally created by harboring such harsh criticisms and judgment of those who have not been speaking up about the multiple genocides happening around the world.
My intention, of course, is to inspire and motivate you to take action and to help you stay connected to your humanity, to humanity in general, and to recognize the suffering of others as well as your own. And not just facts of life or necessary evils, but as challenges that we can overcome together.
But I realized that I can't force or shame folks into caring or taking action. And in doing so, my intentions got lost on some and the impact is me pushing people further away. And that I definitely do not want to do.
It's true when they say when times get tough, you really find out who your real friends are. And of course, there were signs before things fell apart.
But you know, I would be having fun with friends and spending time dancing, singing, or we'd be at adventure parks. But When I brought up anything serious, the response was, oh, God, I gotta start traveling with stupid friends who don't want to talk about politics and activism.
Now, I know they weren't saying, you know, that their friends were stupid or, you know, with some kind of backhanded compliment, you know, saying that I'm a smart person and that I'm engaged and I'm aware of what's going on in the world. And I know that they weren't really calling their friends stupid, but just that their other friends were okay with keeping things light. People say things like, it's not that deep. So when my friend said this to me on multiple occasions, I eventually started to get the message. And the truth is, I was hurt. I am hurt. I thought, I have friends who could do both. And to be clear, I do have friends who can do both.
So some of my frustration and anger, I think, might have been misplaced. I'm angry at white supremacy, genocide, patriarchy, transphobia, etc. Etc. But I'm also bewildered and devastated that I thought I was friends with or in the company with folks that were down for the get down for an intersectional movement towards liberation, but they're not.
Folks have shown that they're either too scared or they no longer see their connection to the things that are happening in the world around them, or that they're actually just more interested in accessing privilege rather than dismantling a system that favors the privileged.
Still, with all that being said, I still believe that as a culture, it's not that we need to divest from celebrity culture, but we need to redefine celebrity. We need to develop a better habit of celebrating the good in each other, regardless of your social status or how much money you have.
So I'm sorry for any and all negativity that I created with my words and actions. I take full responsibility for cultivating relationships that did not meet my needs. There are so many singers, act actors, and artists that I love. Their music inspires me to do the work that I'm called to do. And for that, I am immensely grateful. Because their art for me, sometimes is a necessary distraction when I need to break away from the battle, and sometimes it provides a spark of joy that makes me dance and sing. And even though pain is inevitably waiting in the wings.
So I'm not canceling Beyonce or any of my favorite artists, but I am no longer following any celebrity who I don't have a personal relationship with unless they are leading me somewhere I want to go. If it's just giving cute photos, self promotion, and selling me things that I don't want or need, then it's just not something I feel I need to follow. I follow movers and shakers who are intersectional with their approach. I follow leaders who know that there are levels to this thing that we call leadership. Five levels, to be more specific. And you can read about those five levels of leadership by John C. Maxwell. It's definitely on the list of my recommended reading, but one of the major points that I took away from that book is great leaders help to foster capable people into also becoming leaders. It's not just about them, it's about creating opportunity that other leaders don't.
This is the spirit in which I created the Winner's Circle. So if you haven't signed up yet, you can still join the wait
[email protected] I'm creating a close knit community of people who understand that we can all be winners. There's no need for anyone else to lose for us to win.
In the Winner's Circle, I'll be hosting exclusive monthly and weekly webinars where I'm going to share with folks some of the intimate details of exactly how I'm winning in life, including the struggles and challenges. And I'm using that space to share my life's philosophy lessons and personal stories so that I can help others see their own potential to win over in their own lives.
And in these webinars I offer like these breakout rooms where people can get one on one guidance from me.
So if you have any questions and want to learn more about the Winner Circle, you can text me at 1-888-991 to win. That's 1-888-9-912-946. All right, now let's get into my conversation with this bright young mind that took me by total surprise, y'all. I had no idea what I was in for with this writer, activist and Harvard College student Marley Diaz, who is the force behind the 1000 Black Girls books initiative. She's the youngest member of the Forbes 30 under 30 list, Ebony 100 and more, y'all. She's only 20 something, but I was just like, wow, take a listen.
[00:11:21] Speaker A: So great to meet you.
[00:11:22] Speaker C: It's very great to meet you too, Marley. I've heard some amazing things about you.
[00:11:28] Speaker B: And you're only 19.
[00:11:30] Speaker A: Yes, I am.
[00:11:32] Speaker C: Oh my goodness. So first of all, like, I have been.
Well, okay, actually, first of all, before we get started, the first question I just want to ask you is how.
[00:11:42] Speaker B: Are you doing now?
[00:11:43] Speaker C: Like right now how are you feeling right now?
[00:11:46] Speaker A: I'm okay. I had. I've. It's been a long semester, for sure. I think adjusting and coming back is always kind of hard for me. And the Boston weather does not help. But I've been doing well. I love my classes a lot, and I'm really happy to see my friends.
[00:11:59] Speaker C: So is this your first semester or.
[00:12:01] Speaker A: This is my fourth semester now.
[00:12:03] Speaker C: Fourth semester.
[00:12:04] Speaker A: So you are a sophomore?
[00:12:06] Speaker C: Sophomore. Oh, my goodness. And have you decided what your focus is? What your major is it?
[00:12:12] Speaker A: Yes, my concentration is a joint concentration in sociology and African and African American studies. But under that, I'm studying particularly African American history. So everything I love combined, which I'm really happy about.
[00:12:25] Speaker C: That's amazing. And that's clear in the work that you've done. And it's really. To be entering college, to be just at the start of your concentration and your focus and to already be published in Rolling Stone and doing articles for ESSENCE and having your voice be heard as a young person, what is that like?
[00:12:47] Speaker A: I mean, I think it's definitely. It definitely has been a lot. And going to Harvard is a place that has really allowed for me to gain a lot of perspective on the work I do and its impact. Because as a Harvard student, you already are sort of called to have this. Whether we should have this amount of, like, responsibility or not. But we are told a lot that we have responsibility as students that are going to one of the greatest schools in the world to really think about our actions and what we do post grad. But to have already, like you said, been able to accomplish and achieve things that I'm so grateful to feel like I've already enacted my purpose and, like, I'm not coming to the school to find my passion, but really to enhance it gives me both like a sort of superman responsibility at times and also a lot of pressure to feel like I want to represent. I want to really bring all of myself to the space. So with all the ways that Harvard has been brought up in the news this year particularly, I think it's been a lot more difficult than last year to balance sort of the responsibilities I have as an activist and a public figure within. In a space and as a student who is simultaneously, like, already experiencing these things with a lot of responsibility on how I present myself and talk about these issues. So it sort of has become a double whammy at times where it's like, I'm both a Harvard student and a Harvard student who people listen to and have given a platform to already but it's also like something to be incredibly grateful for and to have the resources to be enriched, to say things wisely and coherently and with so many academic resources, to really articulate myself.
[00:14:10] Speaker C: Yes, and articulate. You absolutely are.
[00:14:14] Speaker A: So.
[00:14:14] Speaker C: Yeah. Because I was going to ask you, being a Harvard student, I've had the privilege of going to Harvard and being sort of hired by Harvard to come speak. And it's so funny for me personally at my age and just the experience that I have had.
I have spoken at so many different colleges and universities and spoken from a place of authority on life experience, but I personally do not have any degree. I do have a master's degree in miss Ross that I recently upgraded to a doctorate degree in Ms. Ross. And I try to encourage others to have that deep level of kind of concentration, the way you concentrate on your studies that you're concentrating on, to almost know yours, to know yourself just as well. So for knowing what you know about Harvard's history, about, you know, Claudine's experience, and you coming through an institution, but also contextualizing your purpose and knowledge through your young, black, you know, sort of lens, but again, academia, not just Harvard, but a lot of institutions being sort of through white lenses or white or prioritizing white knowledge and, and pathways. How. How are you finding it so far now in your sophomore year, holding on to the fire and the essence of what you know to be, what you're fighting for and working towards, while also knowing that you're navigating a system with its own.
[00:15:55] Speaker A: I think that is the question. Like, that is quite literally the question. I mean, I ask myself that every day. I feel like the balance of the experiences I've had coming into Harvard and like navigating a PWI for the first time in my life has been huge, a huge task in self development and honestly a task in first choosing to be brave pretty much all the time. Like, the only way you can get through spaces like these is by always trusting your gut, by always saying how you feel and when you feel it and how you want to say it, and then also by self love, by being intentional about the ways I spend my time, making sure I'm taking care of myself and trying my best, even though I'm not the best at it, to affirm myself and remember why I came here and the resources that I bring that Harvard wanted me to really employ that mindset. But yeah, like you were saying, the experiences I've had pre Harvard was going to a predominantly black public high school. So I was around so many more people who looked like me. But also by being a black student at a black high school with, like, white superintendents and a very white town, I did experience the institutional challenges of being policed as a black student. So, like, I had security guards. I had really strict dress codes. I had had the real lived experience of what it means to go to a school that is, like, not able to invest and support black lives, even though there are so many black lives, like, in one, in one space, in one enclave. So to then transition to a place that props up and is built on this history of only allowing, literally, historically, only allowing white men for so long, for more time than they've allowed women and people of color and Jewish people and people of all international, like, backgrounds and ethnicities. It's really hard to sort of balance that and to recognize that history. But the one great thing that I've been able to do at Harvard is. And the reason why I guess this is the best place or the place that I'm grateful to be dealing with these tensions is that we do have such extensive libraries and collections and pieces of these histories that I can literally go to the Schlesinger Library now at the Harvard's Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study and look at Angela Davis's personal papers from when she was a Black Panther. I can look at, you know, I can look at W.E.B. du Bois, first papers he ever wrote. I have access to the Zeali daguerreotypes and some of the first pictures we have of enslaved people in the history of the United States. Like, by knowing that I have access to this, whether or not Harvard or my administrators or whomever want me to analyze or use these tools in a particular way, even if it's just supposed to be for coursework as an activist, as a young black woman who goes here, as a person who will only have Harvard's email for a Harvard email for two more years, I try to take advantage of every single opportunity to learn about my people's history, because this is the one place where they're hoarding it and. And where so little black people get access to these stories. So for me to be able to sit and look at the first, actually, literally two weeks ago, be in the Peabody Museum for Archeology, and look at these photos that one of the former presidents of Harvard commissioned of some of the first photos we've ever seen of enslaved people where they're stripped naked. It's for racial science and pseudoscience theories about black people being originating from different civilizations. And different species of humans. But I get to look at those and change. And I can, like, I can re. I can change the purpose of those things, like by me as a black woman, like, this is, this is the former president's worst nightmare is to have a queer young black woman looking at these photos, like taking this, like, you know what I mean? Like taking this place, like taking up this space. I feel so honored and feel so brave by doing that. So it is going back to that bravery and self love piece where because I'm able to double down on who I am in those moments and I take advantage of so many of the things that stuff that you're not supposed to but like, are really just through a particular academic lens. I'm always bringing my full self to being here. And it's hard at times, but that's what, that's what makes it work and that's what makes it enrich me even when it's not supposed to, that I'm never going to be afraid of being who I am here because they picked me. They wouldn't let me in. They literally would not have let me in. Like, you know what I mean?
[00:20:08] Speaker C: And you to know that you have.
[00:20:09] Speaker B: Done the requirements to be in that.
[00:20:11] Speaker C: Space and to show, show up. But you know, I have to tell you that that's definitely a challenge for most people is showing up as their full selves always because they feel as though, especially when you get out of college and into the workforce, they feel as though their livelihood is dependent on them sort of, you know, being able to go along with things with, with you just coming out of being so young, coming out of high school and now you are of age to be voting for our, you know, next president.
And you know, I think a lot of people have a lot to say about your generation and your generation's maybe willingness or awareness or participation around this. As someone who is close to the situation because you're in the generation, what do you see now that you are about to be eligible to vote? What is your perception of your peers and the attitudes around the election?
[00:21:19] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I think this election is incredibly important. I don't think it can be understated how much Harvard students unanimously agree that the decision that is made out of the 2024 presidential election will have an impact on the rest of our lives as Americans, if we choose to stay put after.
So I think for us the stakes are high. That's like a very clear thing. I mean, we're so close to, we are in like such a hub of political discussion and discourse. Even though there's not that many forums on campus for it necessarily. There's just a lot of new. Like, Harvard has just always been viewed as that place. I think it is a myth that Harvard students talk about politics a lot or like, really, we don't really get a lot of places to have these open discussions. As a college campus, it's really more like friend groups and circles in the way that you do with your friends. Like anywhere else, I don't think the school is. We are not particularly trained to know how to handle and discuss these issues better, which is a qualm I personally have with Harvard, is that I think it can be difficult for students to always get the space to use all of their words and to say the wrong thing and to get to explore and play with these ideas, because you have to kind of. You come here and you want to always seem smart and put together. But we have rough draft thoughts. We have ideas that change. And in the context of an election and all of our first presidential elections, these thoughts have changed so much, especially over what we've seen just internationally in the past couple months. It's really showed to us that these seeds of white supremacy cut through all institutions and all organizations, that there's really no, no stone that has gone unturned by injustice and by oppression. And there is no individual in power who, like in today's context, who is willing to transform, who is willing to really restructure, that we are interested in doing the same thing and doing it until it's hurt enough people that it can't be done anymore. And I feel like that's where Gen Z is at right now, is just trying to figure out how we can deal with sort of the despair of coming out of Obama. Like, we were all kids when Obama was president. And to think about the joy that we used to have with the government, to think of it not feeling like a circus or like a reality TV show when you looked on the news. I feel like we're trying to figure out how to get our bearings with the world that is not necessarily taking our pushbacks as well as we thought they would. That, you know, the changes we thought we were going to see after 2020 were now four years out, and those promises have not been kept.
So it's about navigating, you know, having to look back on our childhood and really observe, like, how much has gone right and how much has gone wrong since 2008.
[00:23:56] Speaker B: Okay, picture this. It's Friday afternoon when a thought hits you I can spend another weekend doing the same old whatever or I can hop into my all new Hyundai Santa Fe and hit the road. With available htrac, all wheel drive and three row seating. My whole family can head deep into the wild. Conquer the weekend in the all new Hyundai Santa Fe. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for more details. Hyundai there's joy in every journey okay, picture this. It's Friday afternoon when a thought hits you. I can spend another weekend doing the same old whatever or I can hop into my all new Hyundai Santa Fe and hit the road with available htrac, all wheel drive and three row seating. My whole family can head deep into the wild. Conquer the weekend in the all new Hyundai Santa Fe. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for more details. Hyundai there's joy in every journey since.
[00:24:56] Speaker A: 2010 when we first started to sort of think about and place ourselves in the body politic, is to just learn how to move forward. Because there isn't a lot of spaces for these rough draft thoughts. There aren't a lot of spaces for young people to be like, I want to vote for X and X and X, but I feel like they've done this and this and this and I don't know how I'm supposed to weigh that right now. And I feel like what Gen Z is looking for is a place to do that, is a place to just get to talk to one another and use our responsibilities in like a healthy community based forum. And I think that Harvard is working towards that. I have friends and peers that try to promote that through the political organizations they're a part of. But it's something that needs to be embedded into our educational experience. Now with just how much is going on in the world, I think we have to take a step back and make sure that college students are able to acknowledge in their courses what's happening in the real world. Because we're having a moment that I think we'll have to tell our children about of what we were doing and what we were standing for and where we were when these things were happening. And the presidential election will be that. So the fact that these stakes have not been acknowledged, I think is leaving people to sort of become an echo chambers with friend group circles, with the people that they always talk to, because there isn't a space for these rough draft thoughts. And I'm I'm interested in trying to create that, but it is a challenge and it's something that we need.
[00:26:09] Speaker C: Do you find the conversation to be different on campus than it is off? Meaning, like, you know, when you're around everybody that's studying and doing all these things, or, you know, like, in a certain mindset, maybe the place for that fertile conversation and challenge is there. When you go back home or, you know, coming up in these spaces and you're. Do you find the same engagement from the rest of your peers?
[00:26:36] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:26:37] Speaker C: And as well, with your home, like, how has been the conversation of it all been in your home growing up?
[00:26:42] Speaker A: I mean, absolutely. I think that the sort of the huge perception, like, like I was saying I'm trying to speak to with this sort of issue of not having public discussion at Harvard is that, like, there is an idea and stereotype that we are better politically educated and civically educated than most college students. I personally think that is a reflection of what Harvard used to be before it became desegregated. But, like, that was. That idea was sort of strictly relegated to this school's ability to promote and breed white male politicians that, like, once Harvard became opened up to other people, I think there was sort of a cultural shift of not affording those opportunities to everybody where, like, now, like, not every. Like, I don't think most people, like, when I applied to Harvard, I wasn't applying, like, thinking that it would make me more likely to be, like, President of the United States or, like, give me, like, connections to be a congresswoman, but that I, like, I'm just a nerd who loves books and, like, wants to go to a school that has a bunch of books. I knew you were a nerd. Exactly. Everyone here, like, everyone here nowadays, I think, like, this new sort of what we're actually seeing is just, like, a lot of people who spend a lot of time, like, during COVID to really focus on things and got really into whatever they wanted to learn and had the resources to take advantage of that moment and are now at this school. I don't think it's that. I think that we have to really break these myths, particularly with so many things we've seen around college admissions about who's earned it, who's worked for it, who's. Whatever. Harvard students promote and have just as great discussion as any other college students about these issues. I think that when we have open and honest conversation, that is good conversation. And I don't think that Harvard promotes that more than any other university. And I think that's important for me to say as a student, and it's not something that I've, like, usually say or have great questions that allow me to articulate. But I think that the energy that we see on campus is similar to what I see with my friends at home. If not my friends at home are interested in doing more. I mean, while I've had. I think that's a part of. Because they've seen me grow up in my work and what I do, that we leaned on one another to really engage and be able to connect with these issues. In real life, I was able to go to charity fundraising events and go to live performances and go to fundraisers when I was at home during winter break in a way that I think that the stress and rigor of. Of a Harvard schedule doesn't allow us to actually get into Boston and, like, be doing the work to engage with these issues that, like, when we do voter drives at Harvard, we're doing them in Cambridge. We're not doing them in Roxbury or Jamaica Plain or, like, you know what I mean? In places where we as Harvard students could actually transform things. A lot of the times we are sort of just because of how stressful it is to go here. It's hard to imagine taking those leaps. So I find that when I'm in my community circles at home, both because of my own character and just because of the freedom of not being under this pressurized environment, I actually see a lot healthier conversations towards and about these issues because I think, like, the just general experience of, like, being in Boston when it's cold and like, having midterms in two weeks and, like, having dining hall food that you don't want, like, that just makes, like, it harder to have those conversations and harder to carve out time for it. But it is about building a culture of care at this school and this administration doing more to make sure the students feel protected. That I think can really allow for a transformation in, like, the way we see social action on campus.
[00:29:57] Speaker C: You are a bright cookie. I know you know that, but you're a bright cookie.
[00:30:00] Speaker A: Thank you so much.
[00:30:02] Speaker C: You are welcome. So, okay, so you're studying, you're, you're publish, you're. You're doing all these things. You're, you know, being an activist and an advocate. What you know, because you entered the chat on the conversation about the war raging on black girls and, you know, black women, obviously, in general.
From your perspective, what is the most important thing we need to know about this war on black girls?
[00:30:36] Speaker A: Simply put, the war on black girls is a public health issue.
That's as Simply put, as I think I can describe it to me, what we look at and see in black women, what we see happening to black women and girls through sort of our legal and political like acts of domination against us, whether that is the affirmative action case, whether that is Obergefell v. Hodges, whether that is the student loan Supreme Court decision and all the decisions that we have coming up, we will see and have seen time and time again that if we don't take a bottom up approach to oppression, if we don't look at the people who have been historically marginalized the most, we will never be able to get to their point. We have to start at the bottom and look at the people who have experienced the roots and not the greatest horrors, but have experienced such a continued horrors, continually unacknowledged horrors, and start with those people and continue to, and then develop our policy, our transformation, our new infrastructures with their needs. Because if we get their needs, we get everybody's needs. And when we don't think about black women and girls, when we make these decisions that last infinitely in history, because we're doing this through the Supreme Court particularly, that cannot be changed as long as these individuals are alive.
We have shortened the lifespan. We have encoded stress and racism into the body of black women. I feel as though I wake up every day feeling different than how I used to, like, than how I used to feel before the pandemic or how I used to feel before 2016. That there is a stress, a cortisol level within our community that takes itself out in substance use and abuse through sexual health and activity, through eating and like eating and obesity rates and access to healthy food through exercise, like by, like as inflation goes up, like as all of these stressors go up in our world and we are continuing to promote legislation that supports the domination of black women and girls, we will just continue to see negative health outcomes that create public, like poor public health outcomes that like Covid is not over. And as long as we still have.
[00:32:43] Speaker C: Covid going around, I just got over Covid again, so it's definitely not over exactly.
[00:32:47] Speaker A: Black women and girls are the most vulnerable to that. Not only because we have the highest stress levels, but because we are least likely to be able to go to the doctor to get the resources, like to have the time and then to be able to get diagnosed correctly and then to get medicine that actually works for our bodies. Like we are least likely, least likely, least likely over and over again. And as long as policy continues to focus on who is most likely and try to take away from someone who is most likely or give something to someone who is at the top of whatever. We will continue to miss black women and girls needs, and we will continue to see it go, lose our lives, lose our livelihood from that.
[00:33:24] Speaker C: Now, you. Yes. And so you, you know, you're talking about. At 19 years old, you're talking about some very heavy, challenging issues that, you know, for some of us, as we have been in this a while and what have you, you know, it could definitely. It's a lot. It's a lot. Especially when you find yourself having the same conversations year after year after year and trying to still get, you know, sort of change.
So as you're 19 and sort of have all this beautiful, fresh energy to.
To address these things, how do you make sure that you are restoring that energy or creating space for yourself to experience joy and to experience all the other things that life has for you?
[00:34:18] Speaker A: Yeah, I think that is really hard for me. It's something that, like, going to a school that is super academically demanding and just, like, takes up a lot of time, and it's something that I don't want to miss. Also, like, while balancing my work, like, I hate being off campus sometimes, and, like, I have so many great things I can do and do outside of this place, but there's also so many things that I benefited from, just, like, being here at the right place, right time, like meeting someone, like, having. You know what I mean, that there's so much, like, college is the place for randomly great things to happen to you. So when I leave, I always feel so, like, even though I shouldn't.
So for me, like, I struggle with anxiety and depression, and I have. And I speak very openly about the need for mental health advocacy, which I'm sure, like, you understand and know fully.
[00:35:03] Speaker C: I struggle with anxiety as well, so. I understand it.
[00:35:06] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. And anxiety is just. I think it's really hard for me, like, when I disappoint myself. Like, if I start off my day and I disappoint myself, I get really stuck, and I put a lot of pressure. I think that all, like, the pressure that I talk about and deal with is for myself. And that's very hard to deal with as, like, truth. But, like, my parents did not put pressure on me, like, about my grades as a kid. Like, they never did. Like, that was always me. Like, I was always the reason why I was crying about my homework or, like, you know what I mean? Like, to a degree.
[00:35:34] Speaker C: I'll tell you. To a degree, you know, maybe May, you know, and everything's about balance. So maybe, you know, you'll find that balance. But to a degree, you have to realize that that essence is such a blessing and it's not in everyone. And because so many people are trying to find that thing that pushes them to. To drive them to do what they want to or need to do in a day and everything. Not if it ain't authority, if it ain't parents. It's circumstances have gotten to a way to now force them to now do certain things. So the fact that you have that, you know, balance it a little bit. But it's a good thing. Yeah, totally.
[00:36:12] Speaker A: I think that, like, my passion is like. And my ambition is something that I'm incredibly, like, I feel so great about overall, but it's something that also, like, I have to control that voice. Like, now that I know that that voice is my own, that it was never someone being like, you can't do it. I never had people in my ear that I feel like I need to prove things to outside of myself. So it's just like, by managing those goals, by really actually always working towards the things you want for yourself and realizing that you have to always make the healthy choice and always make the choice for a better you and for future you is hard to do when you're 19 years old. So it's just like, literally, the practice of doing it is really hard. Like, now that I know that if it, like, the kind of the simple answer is, like, always, like, think about what you want and what you need and, like, be intentional. It's. That's, like, pretty much the answer to, like, my anxiety and, like, the problems that I face. But then when you actually get in the moments to do it, it's always harder than you think it's gonna be. So it's just like, literally every day trying, like, step by step to just, like, do what I want more and, like, listen to my body more and, like, trust my gut more and just, like, say yes, say no. Like, it is literally, like, moment by moment. Like, I had times today where I did the opposite of that. And I had times today where I was, like, on fire, killing it with how intentional I was feeling and how, like, in control of everything I was feeling and just proud of myself. So it's just that navigation. And it's tough, for sure, but it's something that, like, I know I do have hope, and I used to not have hope. I think if you talk to me very recently, I, like, in the summer before this year, I was not feeling as able to do that or even wanting to figure out what exactly I needed to do. But now I know and I've decided, and it feels different because you also feel like the stakes are higher when you are working towards something for yourself and you've actually decided that you're changing your mind. Like, actually deciding that you've changed your mind on how you want to live your life is really scary. But is also like, if I'm doing that now, I have, like, a lot of time to mess up on that. So it's okay. Like, I have time to get better at it and get worse at it. And that's like, the point. So we're gonna do that.
[00:38:19] Speaker C: I'm glad that you have that perspective now because, again, a lot of people feel like they got one shot. Like, it's Eminem, you got one shot that's on you. No, no, no. Plus, you have plenty of time. Time to sort of figure that out. One thing I would say to you, because it's. You have such.
I just love your energy, number one, and I hope that you are spreading that energy all around campus and just, you know, sort of influencing in all the most positive ways the people in your environment.
What I would love to, like, sort of offer you is just that both that space of giving yourself that grace. But I loved that you a couple times, the way you mentioned and talked about your life as a practice or talked about, you know, I'm practicing our practice, and that. That is in essence. And as a Buddhist, this is no opportunity wasted. And this podcast comes from my sort of Buddhist nature and Buddhist sort of lens. And a lot of what we talk about and work on is about folks truly just being able to see themselves clearly, see their value clearly, so they're not projecting or looking for value outside and what have you, but to also see their capacity and the capacity of others clearly and to understand that is, you are a bright person and you are so smart, but each day you have a certain capacity. Every day, just because you're human, that capacity is going to look slightly different.
[00:39:52] Speaker A: Yeah, that's.
[00:39:54] Speaker C: That's.
[00:39:54] Speaker A: Honestly, that's like, oh, you sound like my mom. It's like, I have this conversation with her every day. She's like, some days it's just not going to be the day.
[00:40:01] Speaker C: It's not going to. Yes, I love that, you know, it's not going to be the day. But as long as you know what I, you know, your energy, as long as you know that you're showing up the best you can in that moment. And what I mean by the best you can is I, you know, I. I tell people whether you're having an anxiety episode or whether you're, you know. And that affects how productive you can be in that day.
If you trip and fall and twist your ankle a little bit, and now you've gotta, you know, walk a male route, you know, to deliver mail, well, you still can deliver that mail and do the job. But it's okay to recognize you're doing that with a little bit of a broken foot or a little bit of less energy or whatever it is without looking at that as a detriment to who you are.
[00:40:57] Speaker A: Exactly. I think that my struggle is definitely taking my harder days as representations of who I am and being scared that I've, like, changed or I'm not as sharp as I once was, or I'm not who I think I am. And in reality, it is about those shifting capacities. But that's something that is definitely hard as a college student to, like, be aware of or even think about, because you're asked to do, like, the same thing consistently as well as for 13 weeks straight. You know what I mean? It's like, the challenge is, like, literally, be exactly who we accepted for these 13 weeks, get your A's, do great, be smart, sign up for everything, and then leave. And it's like, you know what I mean? Like, I feel. It genuinely feels like a race against the clock every semester to sort of, like, prove to yourself that you can do it, because it always is surreal, at least to go to Harvard. And I think that, like, many seniors still, like, I know, still say, like, it's very weird, and it remains very weird. So, like, sometimes you wake up hearing your, like, literally, where am I? And, like, why does this matter? It's, like, so snowy and cold and weird. But, you know, like, in other days, you're like, oh, my God, like, Obama might be here today, and this is, like, the most beautiful place that I could ever go. Like, it just depends on the day. So it is totally about that. Recognizing the fact that we are, like, we bring something different to our lives every day, but our joy is what always can stay the same. And our ability to fight for our joy.
[00:42:21] Speaker C: That's amazing. Okay, so one more question I'm asking you. Like, so you mentioned earlier, you know, just as you were talking about yourself, you threw out queer in there as an. As an identity. What. What did the transition look like for you? Going from not identifying, not maybe having an awareness to being in a Place where you're comfortable identifying as queer.
[00:42:48] Speaker A: I mean, for me, like, this is very silly, but I'm, like, wearing a suit on the COVID of my book. I think anyone that didn't know, like, now you know, I don't know. So, like, I've always known. I feel like I've always known who I was. My parents. My mom is a Jamaican immigrant and was definitely raised in a place that did not have the same ideas on, like, the only book she had read until she was 13. Primarily, like, was, like, the Bible. And her, like, perspectives and experiences were super opposite of how she feels now. And I think that her being able to make that transition before I was born and as a mom, her doing that work and my dad, her similarly taking my dad on that journey before I even existed or was an idea is what allows me to just be who I am. I've never felt the need to come out. I never did come out. Or will. Maybe this, for some people will be considered that.
But, like, it doesn't really matter to me. And if it matters to you, like, that's kind of weird. I'm 19, not gonna be with you. Like, it's okay. You know what I mean? Like, it's no big deal. Like, it's just a part of, like, it's just a part of. It's just as much a part of, like, the importance of the work that I do. Because the fact that, like, especially, like, for some people that don't know, like, or don't think about my sexuality or maybe, like, now will or have as I've grown. It's interesting to, like, think about the fact that I'm fighting for, like, black girl books, but the fact that I'm also, like, a queer woman sort of just speaks to the importance of having stories within stories that, like, even as I'm collecting books for this one narrative, I simultaneously am trying to create space for us to recognize that there are different types of black experiences. And that, like, my experiences both as, like, not being generationally African American or being queer or being, like, being an only child or having, like, to. Or having parents, you know, having these, like, some parents from one parent from another country, one parent. Not, like, there are sub experiences and relationships and stories that all need to be told. And even if you didn't know, like, my sexuality, you've connected with the idea that, like, we all need to be the main characters of our own lives. So if you choose to take that fact back after finding out my sexuality, that proves that you are not working to like, you do not fundamentally believe in what I believe in, if that matters to you. So that's, like, always been the thing to me. It's like, I don't. Nobody really asks me, and that's. I am fine with that. And I like. Like, I like the relationship that people have with, like, prying more into, you know, who I am. But I also think that. Yeah, like, I appreciate that there's very much. Has been a boundary, but I think that as I've gotten older, it is important to me to just, like, dress. I've always dressed how I want, and I think the things I write in my book about clothes and expression really are, like, ideas on queer liberation that I've always just, like, grown up around. Like, just literally be who you are. Like, if you RuPaul says, if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Like, I've been hearing that every night before I go to bed since I was 12. Like, I'm like, I'm hip.
[00:45:41] Speaker C: You know, Grace, I grew up watching it. I mean, grew up. But, you know, I watched it, too, for a while. But just. It's so wonderful to know that folks in your generation were, like, kind of, you know, we're into that show as well. That's amazing.
[00:45:56] Speaker A: Yeah. So, like, I think that exploring queer culture has been a huge part of, like, my own desire to fight for liberation, because I'm a part of communities. I see this. I've seen how this experience unfolds, and learn the histories of both people who, like, don't look like me, but also are like me. And it's been interesting to play with, like, queer liberation and, like, racial liberation and think about how those two mechanisms and histories have functioned differently. So I love being queer. I have yet to go to A Pride in New York, which I'm very sad about. My. I know.
[00:46:26] Speaker C: Okay, well, listen, listen, listen.
[00:46:28] Speaker A: I did go to dragcon my freshman year. I went to dragcon.
[00:46:31] Speaker C: And how was that?
[00:46:33] Speaker A: It was so fun. I met Monet. X change my Bob.
[00:46:35] Speaker C: I love Monet. I love Bob the Drag.
[00:46:38] Speaker A: Yeah. I love those girls.
[00:46:40] Speaker C: Those girls.
[00:46:41] Speaker A: Oh, my God. I met Trixie Mattel. It was, like, amazing. It was amazing.
[00:46:45] Speaker B: That's amazing.
[00:46:46] Speaker C: So, okay. So, okay, I said one last question, but one more question. One more question. So you wrote a book.
[00:46:51] Speaker A: Marley Dyess gets it done, and so can you.
[00:46:53] Speaker C: So you wrote a book, and you're in a campaign to gather or collect these books by black. Or is it. Can you explain the campaign? And is it still going on right now?
[00:47:04] Speaker A: Absolutely. So the 1,000 black girl books campaign is an initiative I started in 2015. I was 10 years old, and I noticed that the books in my fifth grade classroom did not have any black girls as the main character in any of the books that we were assigned to read. And I thought about, you know, I go to a public school. My parents and I have. I have my is full and full of books, and I have access to these stories. I've seen myself as the main character. But there are 30 other kids in this class, and, like, what does it mean if their parents are not putting that intentional effort to show them my story? How does that affect the way we build community at the school? And, like, what we are actually learning as, like, who can be the hero? Who can be the. Who's the pretty girl? Who's the bad guy? Like, all of these narratives are really important. So I was having conversation with my mom over pancakes when I was in sixth grade, and I told her I was sick of reading about white boys and their dogs. And she told me, what are you gonna do about it? So since then, the goal has been. The goal started as collecting a thousand books, which is a huge number for me as a 10, 11 year old. And now over the past nine years, I've collected 14,000 books with Black girl protagonists and donated them to schools across the United States and in Haiti, Ghana, Jamaica, and received donations from all over the world. So this work is really about making sure that kids can be the main characters of their own lives. And along with creating a free online resource guide and database of the titles of these books so that teachers, educators, and caregivers can't say that they're not out there. And we can support, you know, independent black authors who are telling these stories but aren't always able to get into public school curriculums or are not like, classic books. And if it's not considered literature, sometimes it can be really hard to get these stories out here. So 1000 black girl books is a campaign that is still ongoing. I'm planning to do a book donation in March, in May. My bad.
[00:48:54] Speaker C: I'm gonna look through my books for you. I'm gonna look through my books and see what I got.
[00:48:57] Speaker A: Please do. So we've been continuing to collect books, and the work has expanded a lot. Now I feel like I've just sort of come to become more like, become a figure within education and within, like, this. This idea of representation media, which I'm really happy about. And I intend to just continue to Explore this idea of like, what does it mean for kids to lead? What does it mean for these, the voices that we see in the margins or in the corners to come to the center? And how can we get more people who are not like us to think with us and to share with us and finally rebuild some of the, some of the wounds of what not knowing our own histories and not knowing one another's histories has done to American politics. And honestly, just like the way we treat each other in this world.
[00:49:42] Speaker C: Wow, that's amazing. So what type of experience are we going to have when we start reading your book?
[00:49:49] Speaker A: You're gonna love it. It's for kids, so it's very cute and it definitely sounds like a 12 year old wrote it. It's like meant to be really cute because the book is sort of designed for kids to like. If you don't like to read, you would still like, you can still buy it for a kid who doesn't like to read because they can look at the pictures or they can look at the resource guide or they can look at the small little like tidbits we have in the design and layout. Instead of like feeling like you have to engage with every part of the story. Because there's some people that only want to know about activism. Some parents just want to know like, how does this, how does this kid exist and why does she do all these things at 10? Some people want to know why does she dress like that, why is she wearing a suit? And she's a 10 year old girl. So there's all those questions are answered in the book and I'm super, I'm so glad that it exists and that this, that moment, like, I'm happy that there's, it always reminds me how far I've come and I'm happy that I did it because it's really hard at times to think about how I could have never ever imagined what my life is like now.
And in that moment I thought that was like the craziest life could ever be.
[00:50:50] Speaker C: I just want to encourage you to keep going and keep doing your thing and keep teaching us. Because one thing I will affirm for you is that being so young, there's so many of us who don't value what we can be learning from you and from your generation and from your fresh perspectives. And you know, it's not always about a library of knowledge. It's not, it's about what you do with that knowledge and not just sitting on it. So I can't wait to see what you do with all the knowledge that you're gaining at Harvard.
[00:51:27] Speaker A: Thank you so much. I really appreciate that.
[00:51:29] Speaker C: Is there anything else you want to share with us before we go?
[00:51:33] Speaker A: No, I just want to say thank you so much. I'm really happy. I think that always having, like, every conversation I have nowadays, the world keeps changing so fast that I feel like I say more and get to express more of who I am and bringing those things to conversation. So I'm really happy I've got finally got the chance to talk to you. And I hope that listeners get to enjoy learning more about me and what it means to balance both.
[00:51:54] Speaker C: I'm really, definitely, definitely will. You are a rock, rock star, and I, I just know that you are going to make our world a better place. So thank you in advance so much. Absolutely. All right, y'all, we'll be right back. All right.
[00:52:08] Speaker B: Thank you again, Marley Diaz, for just, wow, being so willing to use your life, your young life, when you could be doing so many different things. But you're showing us all how you can take responsibility for your generation and respond to the things that are going around you while also saving time to have fun. So thank you again. And thank you also to Kelly Hayes and Miriam Kaba. I think that's how you say it, but the authors of Let this radicalize you, because it's because of this book that I was reminded that there are many reasons why people are not speaking up, up, famous or not, for a lot of folks, they see things for exactly how they are and are understandably opting out because they recognize at the present moment, they don't feel like they have enough power to change anything about that, especially when they're just trying to figure out how to change their own lives.
So with that, I will leave you with this Buddhist breadcrumb. In nature and Buddhism, we say Buddhism is reasonable. So if it's not reasonable, it ain't Buddhism.
This week, exert yourself and go hard for the things that you care about, but with reason.
Recognize moments where you can be more reasonable with yourself and with others.
No opportunity wasted.
[00:53:44] Speaker C: And I'm.
[00:53:51] Speaker B: Your.
