Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome back to now. No opportunity wasted. I'm your host, Angelica Ross.
So I'm just going to jump right in and say that today's episode is going to be a little bit different.
I've talked on this podcast before about time and capacity, and this is a moment where I need to bring that concept into practice.
A lot has happened this past week, not just in our country, but with me personally.
I was blessed to host the Snapcode gala this past Saturday, and I really love these moments where I'm just surrounded by community and raising money for a good cause. A great community organization that's led by a black trans woman in Atlanta, Georgia. And yet, as I embrace these moments of celebration, it is also the worst feeling to be scrolling on social media as a black trans woman, knowing that just one more scroll is going to present you with a familiar face and an unfortunately familiar headline. Black girl missing. And when that black girl is a girl, you know, it's devastating.
Coming up, as an activist in Chicago, Illinois, Taylor Casey was one of those people who is like a ray of sunshine to everybody she meets.
And the thing about Taylor is you wouldn't immediately clock that she is trans. And it's not because, you know, she succeeded at creating some flawless feminine presentation that both cis and trans women alike strive for, but more so because of the exact opposite. Taylor is just Taylor, just one year younger than me. And like me, she looks so much younger than she is. She's kind of nerdy, smart, funny, kind, and a beautiful human being.
She didn't partake in the whole performance of femininity. She. She had no interest in mesmerizing men. I've just been beside myself not knowing what to say, you know, not knowing where she is, where Taylor is. Taylor's mother, Colette Seymour, just went on, like, sort of a press conference and, you know, has been worried sick and just struggled to speak through her tears, saying, I wonder where you are. Are you okay? Are you in danger? Are you sick? Are you hurt? My nights are sleepless with worry about you.
So many of our friends from Chicago are in shock, and they're trying to spread the word and get the media and authorities to pay more attention to her missing persons case. But in our country's current political climate, Taylor's mother knew to keep the details that her missing daughter is trans.
But you just keep that out of the.
Just not put that up front. A fact that has nothing to do with a missing person's description.
When I knew Taylor back in Chicago, she had blonde hair, she was tall, thin, wore glasses, light skinned black female. And anyone that doesn't know Taylor would not know that she's trans. That includes anyone who would be on a search team looking for her. So for those people out there saying that her being trans is an important fact to have in the search, I beg to differ.
Now, it might be an important factor when you start to discuss motive, but all folks needed to know or needed was a recent picture and put out an alert. Taylor Casey went missing after doing a yoga retreat trying to get certified as an instructor. So I just pray and hope that Taylor Casey is somewhere found. I know they found her cell phone, but they have not found her. I'm just going to keep her and her family in my prayers and our community because we just continue to experience so much loss. And it is clear that so many people in this country just don't care.
So also, I received a little feedback this weekend that I'm just going to need a little time to process.
So I'm just going to keep it short this week. I'm going to give you the Buddhism day by day wisdom for modern life quote from Daisaku Ikeda for July 15 and it says, quote, daily life can seem all too drab and unexciting.
Living itself can sometimes seem a strain, and few of us realistically expect what joy we feel to last forever.
But when we fall in love, life seems filled with drama and excitement.
We feel like the leading character in a novel. But if you get lost in love just because you are bored and consequently veer from the path you should be following, then love is nothing more than escapism. End quote.
So I'll let that just sit with you. And we are going to go right into our interview with my friend and the talented Duran Bernard.
[00:05:39] Speaker B: Welcome back to now. No opportunity wasted. I'm your host, Angelica Ross, and I am coming to you from a studio in Los Angeles. Y'all know I be in Atlanta. Y'all know I be kicking it over there in Atlanta. That's why I love it. That's why I'm feeling comfortable right now. But, you know, a girl is bi coastal sometimes and, you know, I'm going from coast to coast and have work to do in Los Angeles, and I have just so many friends in Los Angeles. So when I come to Los Angeles, I want to have a chance to sit down and talk to some of the best, most thinking outside the box type of creatives that I know. And when I think about that type of person, I think about none other than Duran Bernard. Baby welcome to now.
[00:06:28] Speaker C: Oh, I'm so glad to be here.
[00:06:30] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I'm so glad that we ran into each other. Our good Judy Dawn Richard works with the hip hop caucus. Dawn Richard was our first guest here on the podcast, which was amazing. She dropped some lovely gems and also some tea, you know, some tea. But, you know, she gathered just a handful of amazing artists who also tend to, like, break the boundaries of what it means to also put activism into your work.
So I'm glad that even a project like that brought us together. Cause we're already in circles, not only doing things, but then, you know, sometimes I get to see you at, like, everyday people. Yeah, I didn't get to go this time cause I wasn't in town, but. So the container and the context for this podcast.
[00:07:20] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:07:21] Speaker B: No opportunity wasted.
And what it's about is understanding, like, really breaking down. Number one, what is an opportunity? The fact that there are people who don't see the opportunities in their lives and miss them or they don't understand that with opportunity, many times comes struggle, comes challenge. So it's not just that you were blessed with the opportunities of your life and you're just so lucky. But what I want to talk about is, you know, the challenge and how you overcame and, you know, held on to your dreams, even though things weren't easy. So, to start with, I know you grew up in a household, in a creative household. Talk to me about growing up in a musical family.
[00:08:16] Speaker C: Well, growing up in a household where not only my parents are musicians and they sing, but you have cousins who also produce and create things and aunts and cousins who sing. So it's a lot of that going on in not just our household, but in other people's houses.
[00:08:42] Speaker B: Did they feel like competition or.
[00:08:43] Speaker C: No, not competition. Just extensions of where it started, which was my grandmother's house on my dad's side.
[00:08:50] Speaker B: Oh, we love that.
[00:08:51] Speaker C: Yep. Sally Francis.
[00:08:53] Speaker B: And did you also, did you grow up in a church at all?
[00:08:56] Speaker C: Yes. Not too tough.
Where it was like, we were in church Monday through Friday and then every other Saturday, 5 hours on Sunday wasn't like that. It was literally church on Sunday. And I would tag along with my mom when she would have a choir rehearsal, you know, so I would just kind of, if she didn't have a babysitter or something like that, then I would just kind of tag along. But I never felt, like, too bored. Cause there were also other children there, even though I'm my only child.
But, yeah, there was a.
My mother made sure that my childhood was fun.
[00:09:38] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:09:39] Speaker C: When I really think about and go even with how she talked, you know. Cause she was also my teacher.
[00:09:46] Speaker B: So you were homeschooled?
[00:09:47] Speaker C: Yep. Yes.
[00:09:49] Speaker B: We love that. Cause, listen, to be honest, I don't know what y'all doing, trusting this system to educate your kids. Cause it's gonna be for certain that they missing a few lessons.
[00:10:00] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:10:01] Speaker B: So your mama homeschooled you. That's amazing.
[00:10:03] Speaker C: Yeah. She was actually teaching music in public schools for 20 years before I came along.
[00:10:07] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:10:08] Speaker C: So I had the perk of not only having an older parent who had a bit more patience and was, you know, kind of stabilized in their adulthood, but had insight on, you know, certain environments and, you know, was like, okay, no, I'm gonna do this myself. And the fact that my parents were in a position where she could stay home and teach me and work because, you know, she was also teaching music, of course. So she would have her students, she would, you know, be teaching at different churches or, you know, after school programs. So it was.
[00:10:43] Speaker B: So with her teaching, did that give you.
Did she give you sort of an idea or vision that you could actually do something with music, like, as a career? Cause, you know, the reason why I asked that is. Cause number one, we all know about Miss Rita, Rita Watson's Rita, Miss Rita Watson and Shirley Ralph talking about singing your sugar coulda woulda's and not really being, you know. And I understand sort of how many of our parents felt like we had to make the best, safest bet, you know, sort of growing up. So in my family as well, even though I grew up singing in the choirs and playing piano by ear from first grade or whatever, it was like. But no, you gonna get you a job doing business and what have you. So were your. Did they teach you that you could.
[00:11:30] Speaker A: Have that kind of career?
[00:11:32] Speaker C: Well, fortunately for me, my father being a audio engineer.
God, if you say. Cause anybody that mentions Bernard Ferri, like, they know who that is as far as being.
And he's done sound for Spice Girls, earth, wind and fire, Chicago, Whitney Houston's last tour, Jill Scott's first tour, cash money, Nellie, Nissan, lunatics, Bob the builder.
[00:12:03] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:12:04] Speaker C: Like, you name it, he done did a sign for him. Beyonce and Jay Z, Rihanna, Jay Z and Kanye, watch the throne, all that stuff. And one of my first concerts that I was able to go to was earth, wind and fire as a kid.
[00:12:19] Speaker B: So is that why?
Because I feel like how you look like you every bit of 20 something.
Are you you in them 20 somewhere? Am I wrong.
[00:12:30] Speaker C: Please. We are. I love this seasonedness, and I just got here, you know, 35 is not old.
[00:12:38] Speaker B: No, it's not at all. But the reason why I say that is because. But from jump to me, your sound has had a seasoning on it. It's not your pop girl gone, you know, wants to get here. It's like you are pull you actually, as well, when I listen to your music. First of all, for those who don't know, you need to go listen to, like, all of Duran's albums, because I'm gonna tell you, I'm a huge fan. Like, I didn't even know, like, how much of a fan, and there were just a few songs that, like, I had ran by me, like, before I knew you, I think. And then once I started to get to know you and it just. And know that you are respected, what I love is that you drop so many names that are respected in the music industry.
And, you know, with your family, typically, we're talking about conversations of nepotism. Sometimes, especially when we talk about white people, we're talking about nepotism. But sometimes, us black people, we get these opportunities to, you know, bring on in. But what I find so interesting is that you have the talent in a way. Like, did you.
Was it a hard. I don't think it was a hard sell for anyone. That was you were surrounded by, for you to be able to work with them because you maintain such a strong and unique sound while also being incredibly skilled.
Like, I'm talking about your skill level and control, and vocal control is on another level. The mic is always hot. It's always on when you're singing. So talk to me about, like, being surrounded by those folks, but also needing to not necessarily prove your talent. But what did that look like for you to be embraced once you started opening your mouth and they heard what you could do?
[00:14:41] Speaker C: So there wasn't too many, like, moments of can I sing or not? It wasn't that I had that aha. Moment when I was singing in church, you know, one day, and I had my moment on the solo, and they just, you know, they ate it up, you know, so I was like, okay, this is what we can do. We have the ability to have this effect, but then when we're going into, like, the business side of it, it's way more than just being able to sing.
Can you. Can you give us a hit record?
Because it's not just about the vocal ability. There's plenty of people who are not the strongest vocally, but they have a hit record, and that's what's going to. That's what's gonna keep you on the road.
[00:15:32] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:15:33] Speaker C: Do you have.
[00:15:33] Speaker B: That's what keeps me inspired, because, listen, I'm gonna tell you, I'm a little bit of a late bloomer. It's just in a sense that, like, I grew up in the church, and I just grew up in a lot of oppression and competition and different things, and I just didn't believe in myself as much as I, you know, could have. And also, being trans, it took me a while when I transitioned to figure out how to freaking use this thing, how to do it as a muscle. But one thing I realized, too, is a hit is a hit. It's a hit, so it ain't always about.
[00:16:03] Speaker C: And also, do you have charisma? Yes. Can you command the stage?
Are you commanding our attention? Like, there's so many things. What story are you telling with what you're. Cause this is the other thing that someone had mentioned. I was talking to a stylist. He said, we have to get out of this. You can walk off stage with what you wore on stage. Like, that should be something that you need to come out of. Like, it needs to be a costume, like, something that you put effort in to tell this story.
[00:16:33] Speaker B: Cause you do be telling stories on.
[00:16:35] Speaker C: Stage the best that I can.
[00:16:37] Speaker B: You listen, you don't like. It's a show.
I love that about you. It's such a.
[00:16:42] Speaker C: It's an experience.
[00:16:44] Speaker B: It's an experience, ladies and gentlemen, and thabies. It's an experience, and I love, every time I get to see you perform, you have also.
[00:16:52] Speaker A: What is.
[00:16:53] Speaker B: What does. What does Erica Badu think about you? Because I feel like she just must be so.
I feel, like, thrilled with you and having you on the road with her. How long have you been on the road and performing with Erica?
[00:17:07] Speaker C: 13 years this year.
[00:17:09] Speaker B: 13 years.
[00:17:11] Speaker C: That's.
[00:17:11] Speaker B: I have a whole rim shot.
[00:17:13] Speaker C: Listen, I have a whole teenager of worth of experience being on the road and traveling the world with her. I. It's just so. It just baffles me sometimes when I think of the extent of what I felt my interaction was going to be with her, which was just to be able to meet her, shake her hand, thank her for it, you know, inspiring us. I didn't know she was going to reach out personally and pull me up and be like, no, I want you right here next to me. And just all of that sharpening and, you know, tutelage and, you know, learning, being a sponge, you know, taking notes, you know, things that I. That I. That I want, that I need, you know, that I might not want to do, that I really do want to do, like, you know?
[00:18:04] Speaker B: But I think I want to point out the fact that.
Listen, I know I'm. I'm not Oprah. I'm not, you know, whoever. Whatever. But whatever.
[00:18:14] Speaker C: You're Angelica Ross. What do you mean?
[00:18:14] Speaker B: I'm Angelica Ross? You know?
[00:18:16] Speaker A: So there have been people who have.
[00:18:18] Speaker B: Worked with me or had opportunities, and it's been an opportunity.
[00:18:23] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:18:24] Speaker B: And sometimes people take that opportunity and are a sponge, like you say, and sometimes people miss that opportunity.
Who did you have to be? Where was your mindset to be able to see this? Cause as a young person, there can be a lot of things calling you 22 boys partying.
[00:18:48] Speaker C: That's how old I was.
[00:18:49] Speaker A: 22.
[00:18:49] Speaker B: So at 22 years old, how did you recognize this was an opportunity that I wanted to be disciplined, to keep showing up for in a way that. Cause when you talk about a level like that of working with Erica Badu, that means you need to be where you're expected to be, I'm sure. Right.
[00:19:04] Speaker C: Know your parts, know your movements, you know, know other people's parts. You know, being a swing, as they call that, my thing is, it was me applying my theater etiquette that I learned, learning how to be a part of an ensemble and to blend in and be a part of the whole picture. And then when it's time for you to do your solo or have your moment, then you can work the stage and be you and do all that. So that was one of the things that I was able to take in. And, of course, being a production assistant for earth, wind, and fire at 16, so being behind the stage and being a part of the hive of things that are piecing together the show. So I have all of that experience, and so when I'm coming in and I'm in rehearsal, and I'm literally writing down the notes of my parts so that I know for a fact, okay, this is what you gave me. This is what I'm writing down, so I can always go back to it if I need to. Because if you're not recording or you're not writing your stuff down, how you supposed to remember?
[00:20:09] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:20:10] Speaker C: So that's another thing.
[00:20:11] Speaker B: You know, I think also what you are saying is, to me, it sounds like that you were clear on the fact that this thing we call show business is show and business, that it is both something that you need to respect as a collaboration, because we all, if you doing things at the level you supposed to be doing it at, then we all stars. The drummer is world famous. This drummer, the guitarist, is there because that guitarist is who they are. But so they also understand that if I don't show up, if I'm not in rhythm, then none of this means anything. Being on covers and photos and telling by somebody I know, Erica Badu, they don't mean nothing. Say that working with you was trash. Yeah, but that's not, you know, what she's been giving? She's been giving you nothing but your flowers.
[00:21:12] Speaker C: She said that I'm incomparable.
[00:21:15] Speaker B: She's right.
[00:21:16] Speaker C: She said that I'm her favorite singer.
It's like I said, to be in a position where you can inspire your inspiration, that's amazing. It's not something that is uncommon, but the rarity of it, of it happening.
[00:21:40] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:41] Speaker C: To be able to appreciate it in real time, it's like.
[00:21:46] Speaker B: So was it ever a challenge for.
[00:21:48] Speaker A: You.
[00:21:51] Speaker B: As a queer person, navigating not only your young adulthood we're talking about, but now your young adulthood is in an environment, you know, when we talk about r and b, hip hop, things like that or what have you. Now, again, we know behind the scenes maybe things are, you know, very different or whatever, but the connotation is that we can't necessarily be as free as we'd like to be. But that's not everybody's experience. What was your experience?
[00:22:21] Speaker C: I, you know, I feel like I came up up in a time where, like, YouTube was really in its infancy stages, and I was just being myself, genuinely, and everybody else had their own opinions and ideas of who I was because of how colorful my personality was or, you know, and I never felt comfortable saying I was one thing or the other because I hadn't tried everything. I can say what I prefer at this time, but still, to say this is what it is, would you would be upset because then later on down the line, there might be something else I like, and now that goes against what, you know, in your mind, what I said I was, so let me just be. Exactly. And that's what I've been doing. So I didn't know that that would be inspiring people to come up to me and tell me. You inspired me to come out or to share with my family who I am or to write songs about my relationship. And it's who knew that me having audacity to be myself, whoever that was at that time, and that.
That echo out, that inspire people. So I think that's dope.
[00:23:47] Speaker B: Talk to me about, don't check his stuff.
Don't check hairstyle. Okay, listen. And working with Ari Lennox.
[00:23:57] Speaker C: Yeah, she's such.
[00:23:58] Speaker B: I love her so much. I love her style. I love her vibe. Talk to me what it was like about working with her.
[00:24:07] Speaker C: So first and foremost, I just gotta say, she's a long lost cousin. Like, seriously, from when we met when she was 19.
I was about to turn 21, I think.
And she has always been just this very sweet, big hearted human being that can just sing her face.
I remember my late mentor telling us that we were just kindred spirits, just of how we just connect. And no matter how much time goes in between us, you know, not talking, you know, we catch up, you know, and just kind of, you know, pour into one another.
Working with her, that wasn't the first song that we had, that we had.
[00:24:54] Speaker B: Done, I tell you. That's just the one that got stuck right. Right in my head for sure.
[00:25:01] Speaker C: So when she moved out to LA back in 20, what was this? 28. Like, the very top of 2018. When we did that video of tie me down, we were in my apartment and we had just recorded a bunch of different ideas that I had, and stuck was one later on down the line. But I happened to catch her while she was in LA in the studio, and we came in and we cut it, and it was really smooth. Very smooth transition. I'm just, you know that I wanted.
[00:25:34] Speaker B: To fight when I saw someone throw something at her on stage.
[00:25:40] Speaker C: First of all, wrong crowd, round crowd for her to be. To be opened up for. I didn't know what that.
[00:25:46] Speaker B: What that whole connect, what that was, but it's like, where do. I just don't understand, especially, like, what level.
Where do I gotta get to as a dark skinned woman where I'm being respected and stuff like, that's not happening.
[00:26:02] Speaker C: Yeah, that's. I.
[00:26:05] Speaker B: But I don't think it's colorism. Cause they threw something at Cardi too.
[00:26:08] Speaker C: That's what I'm saying. But she threw the mic back.
She threw that mic back.
[00:26:13] Speaker B: So what's next? So what's next? You got a new project.
Wait, is it out already?
[00:26:18] Speaker C: No, it'll be out. Like, you'll blink and it'll be out, but right now it's out on even. Okay, so you're able to, you know, listen, taste it a little bit. No, taste the whole thing. The whole thing is out. And you get to have that for yourself because everybody's streaming. But this goes directly to the. To the artist, so.
[00:26:35] Speaker B: Okay, so wait, what is that. Where is that? Where can we go?
[00:26:38] Speaker C: It's on even. It's in my, it's in my bio. Okay.
[00:26:40] Speaker B: We don't put a link to that too, because we gonna all be listening to that. Yes.
[00:26:44] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:26:45] Speaker B: Now. Okay, so talk to me because for this as well. One of the things we try to give people is some kind of, you know, we all have different challenges. We all have different. Whether it's a language barrier, whether it's a physical barrier, whether it's a learning barrier, whether it's so many different things that create challenges in our lives, multiple layers of marginalization and what have you. And so the purpose of this podcast is to show folks that everybody has challenges.
What is challenging for me is not necessarily going to be challenging for you, but what we can kind of like, share notes on is what are those things that help you during the most challenging times? You know, for me, it's my dogs and being able to get out in nature with them. For me, it's playing my piano and not even having an objective, just playing.
But also for me, it's my buddhist practice that gets me to see things clearly, including myself, my blessings and all of those different things. So that's what helps me in the most challenging times for you, knowing that this life includes joy, includes pain. But we put it all in the song.
What helps you to get through your most challenging times.
[00:28:17] Speaker C: Outside of rest, because rest is a part of work.
[00:28:23] Speaker B: Amen.
[00:28:27] Speaker C: Leaning on my tribe, on my community, that has been some of the most rewarding things to experience.
When you are in desperate need of compassion and empathy and you are met with that, like, at your fingertips. And that comes with cultivating.
I always attribute my ability to make community wherever I go to my parents, because of who they were, to each other and to me. And so these are just echoes of who they are as people, and I'm an extension of that.
[00:29:15] Speaker B: That's amazing.
[00:29:17] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:29:18] Speaker B: Well, thank you so much, Duran, for joining me now and for sharing your gems and your wisdom and your art with us. Thank you for finding, you know, because again, I just feel like for so many, especially black folks, let's just start there. For black folks, living a life of your own design seems like such a risk, you know what I mean? And then when you put queer on top of that, or gay or however you may identify, how do you identify? Do you identify? You probably don't even identify.
[00:29:50] Speaker C: I'll just. Just for the sake of everyone, I'll just say queer for comedic purposes. I say homo flexible.
[00:29:56] Speaker B: Yes. Yes. So anybody can probably get it if you talk to them the right way.
[00:30:02] Speaker C: Talk to me nice now.
[00:30:03] Speaker B: Exactly. But just, you know, for so many people, our identity and the box that that's sometimes in prevents us from believing that anything else is possible. So thank you for believing in yourself.
[00:30:18] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:30:19] Speaker B: You know, you know how people get on stage and say, I want to thank myself for believing in myself? I'm doing that for you right now. I'm thanking you for believing in you, for doing all of that hard work, for maintaining your amazing gift that you have, for sharing that recipe with the tea, with the maple syrup that you said to put in my tea. Thank you so much just for everything that you give.
[00:30:41] Speaker C: Yeah, absolutely. And thank you for having me. Listen, like I said, once I saw that you had your show, I said, well, it's time for me to get on over here.
[00:30:48] Speaker B: Yes. Well, we just heard from Durain Bernard. You're going to go get all the music, if you haven't already put it on all your playlists and look out for those live performances. Cause that's where you really get a good dose of Duran Bernardin.
