Lift U Up with J. Gordon

[00:00:10] Speaker A: Welcome back to now. No opportunity wasted. I'm your host, Angelica Ross. It's Monday, July 1, and although pride month is over, that doesn't mean the celebration or the protest has to end. So to celebrate the release of Jay Gordon's new single, lift you, featuring me, Angelica Ross, and DJ Yoder, it's an upbeat and uplifting song that will make you want to dance and celebrate yourself and the people that you love. I am just in love with this song. And so I want to start things off again with a word from Buddhism, day by day by my mentor, Daisaku ikeda. And for July 1, it says, quote, if we cherish the spirit to repay our debt of gratitude in the depths of our hearts, then our good fortune will increase by leaps and bounds. No matter how much action people might seem to be taking outwardly, if they lack the spirit to repay their debt of gratitude, their arrogance will destroy their good fortune. End quote. So now I want to be honest. I have been going through it, y'all. This podcast focuses on making the most out of life's opportunities and challenges. And I have been challenged to the point where I was sitting at the nail salon, and the lady just asked me a simple question. You busy? She said, actually. And I said, yeah, maybe I shouldn't be so busy all the time. And then the tears just started rushing to the surface, as if they finally found their moment, knowing I really don't like to cry, even though I know it's healthy to cry, I just don't like doing it. So I was sitting there fighting it with everything that I had. And when I got home, I just laid in bed and cried for so many reasons. And I've been debating on how much to share on here, and. And I realized that lately I've been feeling like I've been holding back, and I'm not really speaking up, and I'm not talking about, you know, weighing in on the news of the day. I just feel that, like, as a public figure, there's so much I can't talk about publicly for various reasons. And it might be a movie I'm working on that I quite can't divulge the details yet. Or it could be something like me working for weeks to promote the launching of the winner's circle community that I developed and winner's circle Wednesdays and building my email lists and contacts full of folks that were excited about joining the winner circle. And then the system went down. But what was worse is the person I had been working with the whole time just stopped answering my calls and my text messages. One of the days, he texted me about 03:00 a.m. on the day that we were going to launch the winner's circle and said that the system was going to be working that day. But the day went by and not another word from him and the system was still down. So even though I still went live that evening for winter circle Wednesdays, no one really knew what was happening except for the folks who happened to get the notification that I was live on Facebook and Twitter and YouTube. I had worked so hard for weeks, to be honest. For years I had been working on this concept and curating a curriculum that blends my life's personal experience with these gems that I learned from my buddhist practice and sort of my seeking spiritual journey over the years. And finally, finally I was going to be able to launch just a piece of. Of what I've been working on for so long and so hard. But without access to my contact list that I had built and verified, I would have to start from scratch and go back through my other mail list and redo the process of making sure those emails are valid and up to date, et cetera, et cetera. And that man still has not answered a text or a phone call. And what's worse, it's a black, queer owned business, y'all. I was so impressed at first with the technology he was sharing with me, with his dedication to the project, as evidenced by our weekly check ins, everything seemed to be going on track, and, you know, we look like we're gonna have some great results. So one of the texts that I sent him, that eventually got him to respond and send me a voice memo apologizing to me. But the message I sent said, quote, I've been where you're at, doing my best for clients and then some, how the tech fails. And I've been up late talking to support teams internationally at all hours sometimes. But not communicating with your client is not professional, and it creates more unnecessary stress. Shit happens. I understand. It's how you respond, though, that makes the difference. And not responding is also a response that's confusing for the client. So, long story short, he apologized and said that he would have it working that Monday before our launch. Well, Monday came around, and not a single text or call Tuesday came along, and I text him that morning. He text me back the next day, the day that I was going to launch, saying that things were going to be fixed. They were not fixed. And I still have not heard from that man since. You think I was going to be waiting for him the whole time while things got fixed. Nope. I jumped right into action and I started coding. Yeah, I went back to my coding days and coded a community portal and started putting these pieces into place to rebuild my email list from scratch. It ain't ideal, but at this point I really don't have a choice. I have a lot of contacts and other hosts in my HubSpot platform, but it's just not as up to date and verified as the list that I had on his system that is currently down. Now, when I say that I was programming a whole website portal, I'm telling you that I was working around the clock for days, going through the cycle of getting somewhere and getting things looking good and working great and then breaking the site, then having to reconfigure the domain DNS information, dive into the database and edit Php files. Child I now I remember how things were for me in my early days of web development, in the early days of me founding trans tech, you know, so a few of those days that I was working, luckily I had my girlfriend with me co working, so she's also in tech, so she gets to work remotely and she saw how stressed out I was trying to work towards a solution and she was just so supportive and making sure that took breaks to eat, went on walks with me with the dogs and if she wasn't there, she ordered me food and had it delivered because she knew that I might have still been working on things and probably hadn't stopped to eat yet. It just seems though, like people mostly see the outcomes and don't really get to see like all that goes into this, the ups, the downs, the challenges, the detours. But I'm just grateful to have people in my life who are witnessing like the challenge, who are witnessing the challenges of my blessings. Like, it's not just that I'm having all these great things happen, but you know, it comes with a challenge. And then to know what that challenge really looks like and have people who are willing to give me the space that I need to do my thing while also standing by just in case I need anything to lift me up when I begin to buckle a little bit under the pressure. Cause child, it's been stressful. I had a moment on social media that people read a lot into and thought I was doing a bereavement post about Janet mock because I did an IG reel that started out focused on my Laverne Cox doll propped in front of a mirror with a Louis Vuitton earring in one hand and a versace earring in the other. And then I panned the video over to this portrait in a gold frame of me holding this bouquet of flowers that I had just caught at Janet's wedding in Hawaii. And this was before I was famous, before I had two nickels to rub together. So this photo had been lying in a box, but I decided to take it out of the box and keep it up on the shelf and to be totally transparent. It's probably my most favorite photo I've ever taken. To be honest, words can't describe the love and carefree black trans joy that was had. But I feel the photo had been lying in a box. But I decided to put it back up on the shelf and to be totally transparent. It's probably one of my most favorite photos I've ever taken. I mean, words really cannot describe the love and carefree black trans joy that was had. But I feel it every time I look at that photo. And I think that things just kind of hit me, y'all. You know, I'm out here still advocating for all the things, but I miss the days when I could turn on my tv and see Janet mock handling Piers Morgane and then turn the channel again and see Laverne Cox educating on the View or some other show, and then turn the channel and there I go, breaking it down with Trevor Noah. You know what I mean? I just miss those days. I miss who we all were when. I just miss those days. I miss who we all were then. Before we grew apartheid, before our stars were just shot in opposite ends of the galaxy. But that's the thing about growth. It's painful. And sometimes you grow together, and sometimes you grow apart. So, no, I wasn't posting an rip post about Janet, but I was more so expressing the loss that I feel not having the squad that I once had. And to quote Janet Mach, being exceptional isn't revolutionary. It's lonely. It separates you from community. And who are you really without community? I hope to never find out the answer to that question. Although it's been extremely challenging, it's also been great having friends who can lift you up. So today's episode is right on time because I needed something uplifting right about now. And I wrote a song with my good friend Jay Gordon and producer DJ Yoder called lift you. We recorded the song right here in my home studio in Georgia. And I recently got a chance to fly back to Los Angeles and sit down with Jay Gordon and talk about our song, talk about his career as an artist, and get him to share just how important it is to have a vocal coach, because I can tell you for one, I would not have been able to do Broadway nor any of the things that I've been doing vocally lately without the help with my vocal coach, Jay Gordon. Take a listen. And today I have one of my friends, actually not just a guest, not just somebody who's an amazing singer and amazing talent, but also a friend. Please welcome to now Julius Gordon. [00:12:10] Speaker B: Hello. [00:12:11] Speaker A: Or Jay Gordon. Did I have to? [00:12:12] Speaker B: Official. [00:12:13] Speaker A: I was out there. Welcome to Noun, Jay Gordon. [00:12:21] Speaker B: Thank you. I'm happy to be here. Cause, you know, I'll be listening. [00:12:24] Speaker A: I thank you for listening, you know. Cause the girls dropping gems, you know, it's not your normal shade room conversation we're not really getting into, although, you know, we just get and talk about the things and where they matter, you know? Cause even some of the conversations we're having in social media, there's some really important conversations under there. We'll get to some of that later. But for those that don't know you yet, tell us a little bit about Jay Gordon. [00:12:52] Speaker B: Okay, so get the juj. The rundown. [00:12:55] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:56] Speaker B: So I am from. I'm a singer songwriter, vocal, anything voice related. Vocal coach. Dabble a little bit in voice acting. From good old Dallas, Texas, came to. I always knew that I needed to do. I was gonna do something in music from a kid. I've always done this stuff. Never knew what. Never knew where life was gonna take me. But I came to La straight after college broke. I've got that typical. Come out here with no money. I had $750 to my name. [00:13:28] Speaker A: Yes. [00:13:29] Speaker B: My rent was $500, and the gas was $187. So, yeah. And the little job that I moved down here to get, I was like, this is not what I'm about to be doing. So I quit week one. [00:13:43] Speaker A: Wow. [00:13:43] Speaker B: And I was like, well, I got a month worth of rent, so I better figure it out. So started waiting tables, and I was songwriting for just, like, local talent. And I had become friends with this artist that I was writing for, and she wasn't the strongest vocalist, so I was just doing stuff with her that I do with that I was doing in college with my coach. And so random got fired from my little table waiting job, and I called her. Cause we were friends. And I'm like, girl, I done got fired. And she was like, you should start coaching. Because I stopped going to the lady that I be going to because of the stuff you show me. And so I was like, hmm. So I had about a good three months of rent saved. [00:14:27] Speaker A: Wow. [00:14:28] Speaker B: So I took those. [00:14:29] Speaker A: This was in LA. [00:14:29] Speaker B: This was in LA. I took three months and I wrote the book that I used to teach. And so many people had seen me perform that when I publicized that I was coaching, I got clients, like, right out the bat. And the rest has kind of been history, baby. [00:14:43] Speaker A: When I tell you you were a game changer for me, like, game changers. So, you know, and I have to, it makes me emotional because I just wish. I just wish someone had shared with me earlier on that the voice was just a muscle that you needed to exercise and work and that I could find my place vocally. Like, I just thought, you know, I grew up in church, and one thing that I loved about growing up in church and singing in the choir was it was one of the most hardcore classes when it comes to singing, because they know, you know, you need to hear your part. [00:15:31] Speaker B: Yes. [00:15:32] Speaker A: Do you hear that you all? [00:15:34] Speaker B: And they ain't gonna tell you how to figure it out, but they gonna let you know when you are not there. [00:15:39] Speaker A: So we rehearsed. And what I loved about being in that space was it was a lot about training your ear. So I had a very strong ear coming up. I learned to sight read. I learned a lot of things. But, you know, the one thing I couldn't grasp was how they was doing all the runs and doing all these things, whatever. But I, growing up, had this ethereal, like, angelic voice. I always had this more different quality voice, and I didn't, it was always said pretty or like, what have you. But I never knew until meeting you, because I, as so many of us trans people, when you are an entertainer, naturally, and then we start transitioning and realizing that these mainstream stages are not welcoming for us. The only stages we end up being able to be on are these drag stages. So for so many years, I was doing drag and lip singing to all these favorite songs that I love. Meanwhile, I want to sing. I can sing. I play the piano, but I'm too. I would tell people I sing. I remember telling my drag mother I sing. And a lot of them would just laugh because I said I sing. And then when I would open my mouth, I was just so timid because I felt like I was singing for the showtime at the Apollo with just my friends, you know what I'm saying? And you singing around some trans and queer people, you know, they gonna read, you know, if you ain't got it right. So I knew it was there. I knew it was there. I knew it was in there, but I just felt like the environment I grew up in was not nurturing to me, so they weren't gonna nurture my voice coming out. [00:17:23] Speaker B: Honestly, it wasn't nurturing to me either. I didn't really. [00:17:27] Speaker A: I. [00:17:27] Speaker B: Cause I grew up, my mom, I had, you know, you gotta sing in the church choir and all the stuff, but it was never. I never felt comfortable there. And even to this day. Day, anytime I go back home and I have to sing in my church, it's. I'm never as comfortable. I never, in my opinion, do as good. [00:17:43] Speaker A: Wow. [00:17:44] Speaker B: Because that the environment just was never nurturing to me. And I didn't really started. I didn't really start learning things about my voice, and honestly, my own gift until I was like, I had a. In high school, my choir teacher, she was the one that kind of started that journey because she just kind of. She was the one first person to say, oh, no, you have something here that needs to really be nurtured. And she still, to this day, I still will hit her up because she was my first coach when I was 14. [00:18:16] Speaker A: Wow. [00:18:16] Speaker B: And then from there, when I went to college. You're assigned a coach then? But I was blessed, and I loved the coach I had. And, like, usually you'll change throughout the child. I was with that man from the time I started there to the time I left, because he showed me that what I had was special and I didn't need to imitate anything or anybody else. Like, just lean into me. Yeah. [00:18:47] Speaker A: Because let me tell you, that's one thing you got me. Because what was a struggle for me for the longest time, and then we got over that, where I know mine voice, I have the highest head voice. Like, I can hit some high, high notes head voice wise, but transitioning from my chest into my head voice was always a crack. It was always, you could hear me transitioning into that space. And also my head voice in the beginning was more nasally than it needed to be. It was more squawky, squeaky than it needed to be. Whereas now, if I'm singing in my head voice, you might not even know that I was singing in my head voice. And I'll tell you that what gave me the inspiration around that was hearing you sing, because you know what I think that had inspired me most? Hearing you sing was hearing the range that you had. But then hearing you, like, flawlessly going to your mix, like, just flawlessly and just be running and doing all this stuff. But also, as a trans person, your tone and being an alto and just kind of like, being able to be in that mid space there, baby. Let me tell y'all, not only is Julia's my. My vocal coach, he's my songwriting partner. Because your range, your voice, where your tone is, is perfect to model for me. So, like, it's been life changing for me to have something. I think before, I didn't. I couldn't see my voice. I couldn't see the possibilities of what I could do with my voice. Being able to watch you and learn from you and, like, literally have you model something for me and then have me try to sing it right back, you know, like, listen, I'm gonna tell y'all, okay, listen. I might not get it on the first time. I might not get it on the first time, but I get it after a minute. And you know, what I've learned and love about the ways we even record is we'll record a take, and when we get a good take, it's great. But now we're trying to beat that take. Or it's like. Or you've done something and modeled it for me, and it really, what it comes down to is, again, I'm still expanding my muscle, you're still showing me what it can do, and I'm still learning. So, y'all. I'm still learning. So I appreciate the fans of mine right now who are growing with me. Talk to me about what it looks like. Cause I've seen your fans. We had one of your, like, I think it was a listening party, you know, and just seeing your folks come out for you and those diaries. Hard fans, what is it as an independent artist, what is your relationship to your fans. [00:21:53] Speaker B: Especially in LA? I think being, like, showing honestly my personality, I think is what brings people like, yeah, people love my vocalizing and all that and all the songs and the things, but I think it's just that people have. Cause I am very. I'm just gonna be me all day, every day, everywhere, you know? And I think that that connection is really what draws people. Cause I always say people are drawn to authenticity. And I do my best and I be nothing and nobody but me, but. [00:22:24] Speaker A: But I know firsthand that wasn't always the case. It was. Cause that album that you put out, z, right. That talked about how you had to go through some things. [00:22:36] Speaker B: Yes. [00:22:37] Speaker A: And, you know, when it comes to being a queer man, where there's masculinity and certain things and expectations of you, talk to me about the challenges for you of being such a big a biggin. You a biggin? Just a big and tall from Texas. And then having these expectations of your. [00:23:01] Speaker B: Masculinity, that was a struggle. And a lot of that struggle with figuring that out and really labeling that, for me, was tough, specifically, because it's like, I kind of was getting it on both ends of the spectrum where it was like, I'm having to operate in this quote unquote straight world, but then also, I'm fighting against the reality of, like, if you know me, you know, the type of men I like are typically attracted to these very hyper masculine men. And while I can present on some days, some days I don't want to, and some days, that ain't what I feel like, and. But I think. But defining masculinity for me amidst all of that was like a big game changer for me, just. Cause it's just like, okay, I'm gonna stand in who I am. And then it's like, whoever falls off, falls off. Whoever likes it, likes it, who don't. And that's okay, you know? [00:24:03] Speaker A: What would you say? What would you say to people who feel like, man, I always wanted to sing, but I don't know. [00:24:20] Speaker B: Do it. Just do it. Like, I always tell all of my clients, I always be like, look, girl, if you gonna be wrong, be loud and wrong. Just get out there and just do it. Because you don't know what you're. You really don't know what you're capable of. If you're sitting at home, like, pining over it, like, just dive in. And if it's wrong, so what? [00:24:38] Speaker A: Well, you know, and what I always say is this. As an actor, one thing that I've learned about, you know, I grew up in the days Amanda Seals talks about where, you know. You know, when you're multi hyphenated, it's because, at least at our age, you know, when you're starting to be in your forties, like me, you know, we come from a time of, like, you had to learn everything. So we did a little bit of tap, we did movement, we did voice. We did, you know, we did all of the things. But one thing I know about music, Mary J. Blige tells a story. Yeah, Mary J. Blige tells a good story. [00:25:14] Speaker B: She's honest. It's the authenticity people always draw to attract to. [00:25:19] Speaker A: No, it ain't. It ain't about specific notes and skill. Cause sometimes it ain't all you know. But what I know about singing is it's about being a good storyteller. So if you can be a good storyteller with your voice. That's why I love to hear that you're now crossing over into voiceover work. What's that been like? [00:25:41] Speaker B: Oh, that's been a journey. I recently, I got. I've landed a couple of gigs. I didn't realize she's one. I had to. I had to. I got slapped in the face. [00:25:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:52] Speaker B: With the realization that, oh, this is its own art form, and I need to respect it and learn things. [00:25:57] Speaker A: Cause, baby, I had the same situation. I'm not gonna say, but let's just say your girl got let go from a job when she wasn't giving them. [00:26:08] Speaker B: What they had wanted. Yeah. Because I didn't. First of all, when I started doing it, I didn't know that they did live auditions. I thought you just send it. Like, they send you a script. You read your script, you send those takes in, they say, yes or no, child. I had a. I had did. I had submitted my tapes. Then I get an email back, oh, we want to see you, like, on a zoom or whatever. Wait a minute, girl. So I did. I did that. And when I tell you, I, you know, when you doing something and you just know, I am tanking this. It was so I didn't know how to communicate things with my voice in that way. [00:26:48] Speaker A: Right. [00:26:48] Speaker B: Like, he's like, oh, be condescending. Be, girl. I don't know what that means for this kind of vocalizer. [00:26:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:54] Speaker B: So I'm like, okay, I need to take a class or something before I do this. So if I've been doing more, I've been doing more things voiceover wise, that requirement, like singing. Cause I know that realm until I take a real class. [00:27:07] Speaker A: Or is there like a choo choo train or. [00:27:10] Speaker B: It was one. It's called station Little. [00:27:13] Speaker A: Oh, my goodness. [00:27:15] Speaker B: That's been my favorite so far. And that one is mainly singing. And I love. Cause, like, they made all the cartoons look like the people that sing the songs. So that was cute. That one was great. And the other one I've done is like a. I did one where it's like, you know, those little online card games or whatever. So I'm like, one of the voices of one of those characters. So that one was like, a lot of, like, ugh. And, you know, like a little grunts. [00:27:37] Speaker A: Listen, it's all work, people. This is all work, and it all adds up. Okay, so before we go, too, I want to talk about you and I have two songs that we are preparing to release. One of those songs, I want to talk about first is, you know, a song that I feel like is really needed in a sense of, I think right now, people are feeling defeated. People are feeling like they don't know what to do. Feeling disempowered. And I love the song that we wrote, lift you up, because it really is speaking to that essence of even if you don't have it right now. [00:28:28] Speaker B: Let me be, let me. [00:28:29] Speaker A: Yeah, let me be that person who can come by and lift you up, you know? I think so. What is the first. The first verse is. What do you say in the first verse around here? [00:28:40] Speaker B: What is it? We don't hang our head down. Ooh, I gotta sing. Yeah. [00:28:44] Speaker A: So round you can sing a little bit. How does it go a little bit, right? How does it go? [00:28:49] Speaker B: A little bit? Round here? We don't hang our head down. You don't have to hide who you are. Don't be afraid now it's okay to come, it's who you are. So, yeah. [00:29:02] Speaker A: Yes. Keep going. What's the next time? [00:29:04] Speaker B: What is you're not alone? Nothing's wrong with the life you're in? [00:29:09] Speaker A: Clear your eyes clear your eyes? [00:29:11] Speaker B: See the world through a different lens? [00:29:14] Speaker A: Even if you believe you don't deserve it's already yours, already yours like and remember when we were writing that all together was me, you, elante, the producer that was producing the song. And just, everything just started. It just felt so good. You could feel it all flowing out. Just saying, even if you don't believe it right now. And then I do a feature. This is the one where I feel like this song, this is going to be julius hit summer, right? Okay, listen, I'm still giving you all his government name. This is gonna be jay gordon's summer hit, and I'm gonna be featured on it. And when I come into the song, I'm like, round here, we don't ever dim our light. We turn it up and make it shine brighter. [00:29:59] Speaker B: Period. [00:29:59] Speaker A: Round here, we don't just walk that walk. We talk that talk. We work, we serve, period. Everything you, everything, everything you earn, you deserve it. Own it, you deserve it. Everything you earned it, own it, you deserve it. Go and take your place in the life so it literally is of when someone else maybe can't even see it for themselves, of speaking light into someone else and saying, let me lift you up. If you can't feel right now, then lean on me to lift you up. Was there a time when you needed that person? [00:30:39] Speaker B: Oh, God, yes. I even talked about, you know, in the Z project these past the years that I was going through that I had never really leaned on anyone, because I have always been one of those people. You know, I'm a Leo. So we got to have it all together to the world, all the time, all day, every day. But that was a moment in my life where I was like, child, I can't even pretend to have it together because I just. What I was going through at that time with that breakup and all that child, those were feelings I had never experienced in my life. And I'm like, I don't know how to get better. I don't know how to feel differently right now. And my friends literally rallied around me. And that was around the time where you and I had just been, like, literally. [00:31:29] Speaker A: Oh, baby, listen. I remember, because, listen, we wrote a song, and there was a part where I needed you to, like, we were writing a song, and you. I know you remember we in the thing, and you. I say, okay, sing this. How should we do this melody? So you start singing. And the words were, I'll never not want you I'll never not care I'll never not wonder could we repair the love that's just so broken and when you started singing that, baby, I felt you so much that I think you needed to go cry after that. [00:32:03] Speaker B: I did. Yeah, that was a time. And, yeah, the people that was in my life or that are in my life, and they rallied around me in a way that I never had before. Cause I guess I had never allowed myself to, like, publicly show that I needed it even. I'm pretty sure there were many times before that I needed my people to rally around me. But me and my leoness, we not gonna let you know that. We gonna tell you. We just got it all together, and I'm fine. But, yeah, that was a huge time. And then I always got to give praise to my parents. Cause I have the best support system that's so great in the world. Cause when I ain't got it, they got it for me. And they believe in everything that I'm doing so much. And it's kinda. That's hard when you. Cause I am the antithesis of both of my parents. Cause my dad is, like, man's man and military and football and all of this. And my mama is, like, the churchiest of church ladies. And here they are with a black, gay ass son, you know, just out here doing making music. You know what I mean? So it's like. But they just literally. They love everything I'm doing. And they all. They never hesitate to tell me they proud of me and what I'm doing. And my mama is always like, oh, you know, I love, like, you're creating something that doesn't exist and you are doing something like you are happy with the work you do every day. And she's like, not a lot of people can say that in their life. [00:33:38] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:33:38] Speaker B: You know, so I'm blessed. Cause the people around me are freaking. It's just like, a lot of people don't get that. [00:33:46] Speaker A: Yeah, no, a lot of people don't start out with that. I mean, I would say to people, you know, give it time, though. Give it grace. Because I think especially if you're black, a person of color, if you come from a family of, like, immigrants, I think that the main issue is that your parents are so worried. Cause in this world, it's hard to make it with these barriers that you have in your life. Once your family starts seeing that you're okay. [00:34:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:17] Speaker A: And that you're making it on your own, I think that they start to worry less. Now, you and I also have another song we're gonna be releasing. It was one that I think I started with writing. It's called world on fire. And I cannot wait for this song to come out. [00:34:32] Speaker B: She can't wait. Cause she's been a long time in the making. [00:34:34] Speaker A: She's been a long time in the making. She is ready to come out because it's so timely. The lyric of the song that stands out the most to me, really is the beginning. The first lyric that says, I lit the world on fire, I did it just to watch it burn. Turn up the music and watch it burn. And to me, that is that attitude that we've heard from, like the african proverb of the child who burned down the village just to feel it's warm, you know, when I think about the children of Palestine who are finding the courage, when all they might have is a rock or a rocket against these big military things, and they have the nerve to strike a match, the courage, the will to say that I'm willing to be a part of the energy that needs to dismantle, to burn down what needs to be burned down and let be transmuted. Something new. [00:35:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:51] Speaker A: And not just. What I love about the song, too, is it's not just a song around burning things down, but being a part of the people who are helping to rebuild it. [00:36:00] Speaker B: To rebuild it. Yeah. [00:36:01] Speaker A: Yeah. It's one of the things that we say in there, burn it down and rebuild it. What do you think when we talk about world on fire, what are the things today, right now, as a black queer, man? What are the things that you want to see change in our world? [00:36:18] Speaker B: Oh, Jesus. [00:36:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:20] Speaker B: So I. Like. I am one. I. The perceptions of. And I don't. You know what? Honestly, I don't know if we're moving in the right direction, I guess. But, like, masculine. Like, just the chokehold that this performance of masculinity has on, like, the black community at large. Jesus. [00:36:45] Speaker A: Like, it's a chokehold. [00:36:46] Speaker B: Please let this stuff go. Like, it's so much idiotic. It's so much idiotic rhetoric that's out about all of this. And the majority of all of this stuff is so performative. Cause the thing that always is in the root of my mind is the thought that, like, y'all haven't real one. You haven't realized one, that it's keeping. It's what's keeping black men and black women away from each other, apart from each other. [00:37:11] Speaker A: Right. [00:37:11] Speaker B: But then also. [00:37:13] Speaker A: Yeah, right. [00:37:13] Speaker B: But then also this reality that, like, when it comes to masculinity, you. In my mind, it's more emasculating to allow another man to tell me how I get to be and how I get to show up in the world like you. I got to act like this ain't gay. Cause you telling me that this. I'm gonna be exactly who the fuck I am. [00:37:33] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:37:34] Speaker B: And you gon deal. You know what I mean? To me, that's more masculine than. I'm not gonna let some other man tell me who I get to be and how I get to be around who, you know? So it's. [00:37:46] Speaker A: I really down with the patriarchy. [00:37:49] Speaker B: Okay, please. [00:37:50] Speaker A: You know, and misogyny and all these things because folks are raising kids to have problems, to be stunted men who can't tap into their emotions, who can't express their emotions. So I agree with you. That also desperately needs to change. So when the world is just burning constantly on fire and it seems like every day you scroll on your feed and it's another news story about some tragedy that's going on in the world, how do you hold on to the music? [00:38:23] Speaker B: Mm hmm. [00:38:24] Speaker A: How do you continue to hold on to your joy and not have a defeated sort of nature about you when so much chaos is going on? [00:38:34] Speaker B: Yeah. So it was the. I had a realization. I don't remember when this was. And it's. It was a bit morbid, but then also kind of freeing, in a sense. Like, I had this thought one day, I was just like, we all gonna die. We are all gonna die. And nobody lays on their deathbed talking about bills, and nobody lays on their deathbed talking about, you know, just any. Any of these, like, frivolous struggles and different things that we did. Everybody talks about the times that they got to spend with people they love, doing things that they love. And I had the realization that, like, life is about leaning into the love. So whatever the. Whatever's going on, especially if it's things outside of my control, I gotta release that when it comes to my psyche, because, again, I can't change. I can't change that, you know? But what I can do is invite in peace into my space, share time and space with the people that love me, because at the end of the day, those are the things I'm gonna reflect on when I'm laying in my deathbed, and those are the things and how I loved on people, how I existed in the world. Those are the things that other people will reflect on when I do die. [00:39:49] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:39:49] Speaker B: So it's just holding onto that reality that, like, change the things I can and the things I can't release and invite in the peace and the love that I need for me to have joy every day. Cause it don't help. No, nobody else. If I'm mad all day every day about whatever, everybody else gets to go to bed at night with a smile. And I don't. No, I'm finna invite in as much peace and joy as I can and need so that I can live a life that I'm happy with at the end of it. [00:40:17] Speaker A: Y'all heard that, right? That is a gem. Thank you so much just for processing. Because as an artist, you know, I think the art, the singing, the music, the talent, you know, it helps us to process this thing called life, you know? And I think that so many people out there don't realize that it's not just about being talented, but that you can use art as a creative expression and as therapy to help you heal from some of the stories you've told yourself, you know, and tell yourself new stories and write new stories and the songs and new futures for yourself. So, last question. So, with no opportunity wasted, what opportunity do you want to call into your life? [00:41:16] Speaker B: Ooh. Oh, that's a good one. Okay, so. Hmm. What do I want to do now? Because I've been. Okay, I have been diving into more so into my artist bag as of late, and I have been thoroughly enjoying, like, performing. I have yet to do a outside of when we perform together. Pride. I've yet to do, like, a festival on my own, so that's something that I want to definitely invite. And I, and, oh, I know what I want to do. I've never toured, and I, and I want to create it some kind of way. I don't know how I'm going to do it. Who gonna give me some money to do it? [00:41:57] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Yeah. [00:41:58] Speaker B: But I wanna, I wanna tour some kind of way. So I'm gonna invite that into my space. I'm gonna usher that on in, and that's coming. [00:42:06] Speaker A: I can see it. And just take advantage of the opportunity when it does. [00:42:09] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:42:10] Speaker A: Well, thank you for joining us. And now, no opportunity wasted. We will be right back. So, like Julia said, this week, I want you to lean into the love. If you are struggling this week, if it's a little difficult this week, find a moment to lean into the love. That might mean looking at if you have a partner or a significant other, if you are fortunate enough to have your parents in the picture and just picking up the phone and calling them, if it's your dogs and you are a fur mama or daddy, spending time with them or. My favorite type of leaning into love is leaning into loving yourself. Finding ways to, whether it's a good meal, a nice long bath with candles, a audiobook, a run, a jog, slain out in the sun, whatever way that feels like love to you, even if you have to give it to yourself. Lean into the love. No opportunity wasted.