[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey Los Angeles, are you Looking for unique 4th of July plans for you and your friends or family? LA's greatest rivalry returns to Rose Bowl Stadium for a July 4th edition of the El Trafico soccer matchup. As the LA Galaxy returned to their original home to defend their turf against LAFC last year, a record crowd of over 82,000 fans were on hand to witness the Galaxy victory. That's July 4th at Rose Bowl Stadium. Guaranteed fireworks both on and off the field and a celebration for all of LA LA Galax vs LAFC. The Rose bowl edition
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[00:00:47] Speaker B: Welcome back to Noun. No opportunity wasted. I'm your host, Angelica Ross. Today is Monday, May 27th. It's Memorial Day, a day we have reserved to remember those who have given their lives for the freedoms that we kind of have here in America. As we're learning, America isn't always just in the ways we deploy our military presence around the world. We live in a society that believes that war and evil are necessary. But I'm sorry, I just don't buy it. I think that we have gotta do, as the Buddha would say, kill the will to kill.
So I'm praying that we don't have to lose any more lives to war and that we learn to create peace and change through dialogue. Let's talk and work things out in a way that prioritizes the respect and dignity of all people.
So let's get things started with a quote from Buddhism, Day by Day Wisdom for Modern Life by Daisaku Ikeda. And it says, quote, similar to the unifying and integrating self that Carl Jung perceived in the depths of the ego, the term greater self in Buddhism expresses the openness and expansiveness of character by which we can embrace all people's sufferings as our own.
The greater self always seeks to alleviate pain and to augment the happiness of others here among the realities of everyday life.
Furthermore, the dynamic, vital awakening of the greater self enables each individual to experience both life and death with equal delight.
Now, so much is going on as always, but I wanted to just take a moment and talk about the recent trend on social media that is calling to block celebrities who folks feel like they haven't been using their platforms to speak up on issues like the genocide in Gaza or Sudan or Congo. They're not posting and not calling for a ceasefire. And folks are starting to realize the silence is louder than whatever music or product that folks are trying to sell us.
There's a video I ended up resharing from when I was at a Protest for Palestine back in October of last year where I said to my friends and colleagues in Hollywood, your privileges will not protect you. Speak up. Use your platforms. You have millions of followers, you're a so called celebrity. But my question is, what are you celebrated for?
Are you with the people or not?
As a black trans woman, I stand with all oppressed people around the world.
[00:03:44] Speaker C: So I happen to be on the.
[00:03:46] Speaker B: Same page with so many of the folks on TikTok and Instagram who are starting to block celebrities. So here on now, no opportunity wasted, we're creating our own block list. But I don't just want to call out the celebrities who are not using their platforms. I want to also highlight those that are. Those that are taking whatever opportunity they can to, to amplify the voices of those who ex who are experiencing some of the most horrific circumstances around the world and right here in America.
So on the list of celebrities to block Diddy again, what are we celebrating you for? Yes, you've made a lot of hits.
[00:04:28] Speaker C: But you've also put out a lot.
[00:04:29] Speaker B: Of hits that we are only just hearing about.
We will not celebrate domestic violence. We will not celebrate sexual assault, not to mention a laundry list of other bad boy qualities. And for that reason, Mr. Sean Diddy, Puffy Love Combs, you are blocked.
And next on the block list, Elon Musk. I have finally let go of Twitter or X or whatever you want to call it. I didn't delete my account because, you know, scammers be scamming, but I held on to my username. But I'm just no longer on that platform. And listen, I am just tired of us celebrating businessmen who are successful by means of corrupt capitalism with the taste of racism, transphobia, sexism and narcissism. We need to stop celebrating people who have become successful by taking advantage of a broken system.
That's what Trump has been bragging about doing. And that is actually the goal for so many aspiring entrepreneurs. But let me remind you, there are no ethical billionaires.
Next up on the block list, Tiffany Haddish. Girl, it's a wrap.
I'm not even going to fully drag you because I don't believe in doing that in mixed company. But what I'm going to say is this.
What are you celebrated for? I need you to ask yourself this question. The DUIs, creating cringe worthy content involving minors in their underwear, traveling to Israel to find a husband to take you on an adventure to hunt and shoot Palestinians, or the fact that you've never went to college and reading Comprehension is just non existent with you and you want to try and shade college students for learning and speaking up about what they have learned.
[00:06:19] Speaker C: Girl blocked.
[00:06:22] Speaker B: Now there are some celebrities I think we should be celebrating. My non binary siblings, India Moore, who seems to always be ready and willing to speak up no matter what is on the line for them. I have seen them in the streets protesting as well as using their platform online to share information not just about one issue, but about so many issues. Thank you, India Moore, for showing up. We celebrate you, Sara Ramirez, who was also one of our early guest members on the podcast and spoke to the reason why they will always use their platform to speak truth to power.
[00:07:00] Speaker C: We saw that they were outside of.
[00:07:03] Speaker B: HRC protesting and we saw news that they weren't brought back for just like us for another season and speculations were that they were being so outspoken and that was an issue.
But listen, Hollywood may try to blacklist celebrities who speak up, but here in the now we celebrate you.
Now another person I personally love to celebrate is my friend, writer, author and host of multiple podcasts, the beautiful, hilarious Francesca Ramsey. And now this conversation was also one that could not be contained in just one episode. So here is part one of my conversation with Francesca Ramsey.
[00:07:47] Speaker C: Well, it's always laughter to the point of tears with you, Francesca Ramsey.
Welcome to kikiing. Always we be kikiing, but I just want to welcome you to now to here.
[00:08:04] Speaker D: Oh, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be on your show.
[00:08:09] Speaker C: Thank you so much. And thank you just for saying yes right away because you're that kind of friend and I just, I love you that way.
[00:08:15] Speaker D: Oh, I, yeah, there's no question. I any way that I could make it happen, I was going to make it happen.
[00:08:22] Speaker C: All right, so let me. My first question that I want to ask you just is, how are you doing right now?
[00:08:28] Speaker D: Oh, that's a loaded question.
Well, I did have therapy yesterday and I got, I had a good old cry in therapy.
[00:08:40] Speaker C: I need one of of those. I need a good cry. I need one. I'm overdue.
[00:08:44] Speaker D: Yeah, I was holding into that cry for a smooth two weeks. I was like, let me get to this therapy session and let it out.
So that really helped. And you know, I think all things considered, I'm doing good. Just taking it one day at a time. You know, we talk about this stuff offline all the time, but the world is in a weird place. The industry is in a weird place.
I'm newly 40, so I feel like I'm always in my.
[00:09:11] Speaker C: Welcome to the forties, Francesca.
Thank you. I am so grateful that I actually got to be there to celebrate with you at your birthday. You looked absolutely like a glowing goddess. And I looked like one of those hairless cats.
[00:09:30] Speaker D: Stop, stop. You look amazing. No, and this is why we're friends.
[00:09:37] Speaker C: Because I love, I love you for saying that, but like.
[00:09:41] Speaker D: No, you did, you did.
[00:09:42] Speaker C: Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you, Francesca. But let me just say, I'm going to post up the picture. I'm going to. As we're saying this right now, I'm going to post up the picture and y'all tell me.
Cause I know what it was given.
[00:09:57] Speaker D: No, no, no, no. You were giving. But you know what? I loved you. You were like, hey, girl, I'm coming in sweats. I'm not doing my makeup. And you still were like glowing and ethereal. And you know, you were still like, you know, giving us glamour, but just like a natural glam.
[00:10:14] Speaker C: I, I appreciate that. But sometimes, you know, like my hair was freshly, you know, freshly blonde. It was still, it was a couple days after, you know, I had gotten it straight. And, and you know, sometimes, like, especially sometimes, you know, I've learned how to. But like when you are rocking a straight blonde look, sometimes you, you really gotta have at least the, you know, done to pull the whole look together. Otherwise you gonna look washed out.
[00:10:38] Speaker D: Yes, yes, yes. Well, did you.
[00:10:40] Speaker C: And sitting next to you, I looked.
[00:10:43] Speaker D: Wait, did you have blonde brows at the time? I forget.
[00:10:46] Speaker C: And I think I even had blonde brows. That's why I said I look like a hairless cat.
So I'm sitting next to you, like, oh, let's take a picture at her.
[00:11:02] Speaker D: Oh my God, that. But like you said, that is true friendship that you're like, you know what, I'm rolling up, I'm going to pop in, pop out. We're still going to make the best of it. I was going to say at newly 40, and maybe you have this experience too. I'm just like, damn, I'm a full blown adult. Like, I can't be dilly dallying around like I'm grown.
[00:11:26] Speaker C: Well, you know, unfortunately I had that when I started to turn, when I turned 21. Like, my parents will tell you that I was a type that was grown well before I was grown, you know, But I, I think it did, you know, fully settle into me though, like maybe in the early 30s or whatever. 40s. Baby, baby, listen. The 40s is a place of confidence. Like, because after decades of doing the, like you kind of get to a place where you really. And I've seen you be that way really because, like, because first of all, might have to have you drop the skin routine because you look. I mean, and I see that you actually do be dropping your skin routine on your platform all the time.
[00:12:18] Speaker D: It's most. It's mostly genetics. I wish. I always tell people if I start slinging products, I am down bad. You know, my finances are mess up. If I start telling you y'all, this is what I'm using because I'm lying.
I. This is what it is. I. I literally, I wake up, I do put on a little sunscreen and a little eye cream because that's. That has been part of my 40 journey. Is giving you designer bags on the face.
[00:12:48] Speaker C: Yes, yes.
[00:12:49] Speaker D: If I don't get enough sleep, but that's really it. And drinking water, I don't, I don't really do anything else. My mother's skin is like immaculate. And I Do you also.
[00:12:58] Speaker C: Well, I would also say they usually on the list of drinking water is mine and your business. But with a podcast, how can you.
[00:13:08] Speaker D: Well, you know what I do, I stay. I stay in the peripheral business. You know, I'm like, I'm like, I listen, but I'm like, I'm staying out of it. And that's. That's it. So that does help. And you know, I will also say shout out to being child free because I think that that keeps me baby.
[00:13:27] Speaker C: I think that that is the you serum right there.
[00:13:31] Speaker D: That's it.
[00:13:32] Speaker C: That's. That's you serum. Like for me, it is the black.
The black DNA and the trans use serum with. With no children. Like, it's a concoction, you know, that brings it all together. But I was gonna say the reason why I mentioned that your looks and your just how beautiful you are and all of that is because I think because you carry your age so well.
The Internet is a place of daily discovery. And I think that people, when they sometimes discover you, they think that that is the moment you've also began the. Your career on the Internet is the moment that they discovered you.
[00:14:19] Speaker D: That's so true. That. I mean that definitely happens to me online and in real life where people assume I'm a lot younger and there's this air of, oh, little girl, you don't know or you're going to wake up one day and learn. And I'm like, what are you talking about? I've been here for quite some time and on the one hand it is, it is flattering. But I always think to myself, even if I was young, even younger, even if I was brand new, it doesn't give you carte blanche to be condescending. Like, you don't have to tell me about my life. But I also think that that's just kind of the nature of social media, is that people feel like once you learn who someone is or you see insight into their life, then that means that that's who they are wholeheartedly. And it's like, this is a very small snippet of my Persona and my daily experience. I have a whole life off of the Internet that the average person doesn't know about. And I very thankful for that.
[00:15:14] Speaker C: Yeah. I mean, I think we have to. When you're. When you give so much to social media, you have to find that line of what. What is just for myself, what is not for the gram, you know, so. Okay, so talking about that experience that you have, that's so many times people tend to, like, you know, overlook. Just. Again, I chalk it up to just how young you look. So we just gonna leave it at that.
[00:15:40] Speaker D: Thank you. Thank you.
[00:15:41] Speaker C: We're gonna give them some grace and be like. Cause they think that you look like a B. That's why. But, you know, I obviously, I got. Went to you around decoded. That was when I first started learning about you as MTV Dakota and seeing you, like, be able to just gracefully explain to white people how they got us messed up, basically. I mean, that's just like a summary, a very quick summary of all of that. But I know being in that space, you then enter into and what I would say is something. Something exaggerated when you have entered into an ex now in an exaggerated space, where these are the issues that we're dealing with, that our society is dealing with. But then going from the space of you filming these things and, you know, teaching these things and maybe, you know, early. Some early TV stuff, you know, with MTV and things like that. To the marriage with social media and social promotion.
[00:16:44] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:16:46] Speaker C: What did that uptick feel like when sort of the social media like. And I say uptick because you have a book called. Well, that escalated quickly.
[00:17:00] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah. I mean, I. I've said this a bajillion times before, but that first time I went super viral was really disorienting. You know, it is that feeling of. I've been making content for about six years. At the time before I had my first really big video in 2012, which was shit white girls say to black girls. And I had a Regular job. I was working as a graphic designer. I was working at Ann Taylor. And so it really felt like a switch had been flipped where suddenly millions of people were commenting on my videos. My inbox was exploding. I was getting people asking me to interview and audition. And it was just as if, you know, that moment of, like, I've been here this whole time, and now suddenly everyone's like, where have you been? We're looking for you. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. So I've kind of had that at various points in my career, and I'm sure you've kind of had this too, where it's like, you've been grinding, you've been auditioning, you've been doing the thing, you've been working so hard, and then you're on a TV show, and people are like, oh, my God, now I know who you are. And it's like, I'm. I was the same person I was before I was on the show, but, like, now there's this spotlight on you. And so it's a blessing and a curse. I'm. I'm so thankful that anyone watches my content and cares what I have to say. And.
[00:18:21] Speaker C: Okay, well, okay, hold on. Let's pause and back up. Because, sure, you know, some people, that's cute to. To do that. And, you know, but the thing is, is that, like, you. What I appreciate about you, it's. It's, you know, people are on the Internet looking for attention, and they're looking so much for attention that they're following whatever viral trend is there and making their version of it, just hoping to catch into the algorithm or whatnot.
[00:18:55] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:18:55] Speaker C: One thing I love about.
First, I'm going to tap on your actual content from the MTV Dakota stuff from your book. Well, that escalated quickly from that to even the podcast. Not to mention, again, I'm not trying to skip over the other credits as a writer, television and the award shows and Larry Wilmore and all these. The things that you've done. But what I mean is, outside of you being chosen by the industry to be hired onto something, you as a content creator has been relevant.
And I saw a video, I think, that you did when you talked about and kind of broke down for folks how to be relevant, like, when it comes to, like. And it's in.
[00:19:48] Speaker D: It's.
[00:19:48] Speaker C: Yeah, it's. It's funny because, you know, it's such a simple kind of concept to talk about and break down, but because we're in a state where people are so wildly shooting in the Dark. I think this is something that does need to break down. So can you break down again? Like how you so magically. Because even with your podcast that says, let me fix it, it's so relevant to now in the fact that everybody's finding themselves apologizing about something and doing it badly.
[00:20:22] Speaker D: Well, thank you for saying that. I think. I think it's many things. Right now, everybody on social media is chasing views because they know that they can make money from it. And I think for me, I'm so thankful that when I started on the Internet, there was no revenue program. It was just like, make stuff to make stuff. And I think for that reason, I kind of went into it with this thing of, like, I just want to have fun. I want to meet people, I want to challenge myself. I want to do different things. And I think that that's what's missing in a lot of people's content, is what's your why? If your why is just I want to go viral, well, then you gonna be. You're gonna burn out. Because going viral is not guaranteed. Having an audience is not guaranteed.
[00:21:09] Speaker C: But for what, though? Going viral for what? So this is what I want to.
[00:21:14] Speaker D: I mean, that's why people. You see people sharing all of their personal business and. And just. And acting a fool or just saying.
[00:21:21] Speaker C: Like, like the guy that's living in a storage unit, like, blowing up your own spot, right?
[00:21:27] Speaker D: Because you're like, this is what will get views telling us things that you should keep to yourself, you know, or tell a journal. Right? Or. Or.
[00:21:35] Speaker C: Or. The simple fact is, I think what it is, is I think the misperception in these moments for folks is there's this duality and this dual reality in them feeling, knowing and understanding. My life has value. And I know that this shit sucks right now where I'm at right now.
[00:21:58] Speaker D: But this even I put on.
[00:22:03] Speaker C: But what if they were really tapped into the moment, what they would do is just record that for themselves.
Because this is what happens when so many people have stories and script ideas and different things, but no script, no nothing written down, no nothing. But it's like, then that's. These are the moments. You're living in a storage unit, like, and you have your focus and attention focused on raising your life's vibrational frequency and getting out of the situation or finding a job or whatever the goal is, is, and then telling the story when you not in the midst and still in the storage unit.
[00:22:45] Speaker D: Yeah, that's. I think that's such a great point because I. I I definitely recognize that for myself, I. I had to learn that lesson the hard way. And I think I'm really fortunate that there were times in my life where I didn't have an audience and I was running my mouth on the Internet, and then I was like, oh, I should not be sharing this. Delete. Let me take this down. But I think to your point about, like, getting through the moment, social media is rewarding people for exposing their trauma. You know, sharing. I. There's a. There was a clip of. I think it was Dylan Mulvaney on the red carpet with Laverne Cox. Laverne said to Dylan, you don't have to tell. I love that you're sharing your transition online, but you don't have to tell everybody everything. And Dylan was like, yay. And I think Dylan. I think she's, like, 23, 24. She's very young.
[00:23:36] Speaker C: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
[00:23:36] Speaker D: And on the one hand, it's, like, beautiful that she shared so much of her journey, and I know it's inspired people, but in that moment, I could see that Laverne was trying to encourage her to say some of the stuff that you're going through, you need to experience it and give yourself distance before you're able to advise people on what they're going through or to share, you know, the tips and tricks that you learned. I get the instinct. Right.
[00:24:01] Speaker C: Well, do you think. Was it. I think that was, like, a genre. I think that her and maybe some others. I feel like that was a genre of vlogging that was literally off the cusp. And I'm processing this right now.
[00:24:15] Speaker D: Yes. And TikTok, really. I mean, and look, that's. That's no shade to Dylan. I. She has created an incredible platform. And in. To your point, sharing it in real time is part of what made her successful, is that she was saying, every day, this is day 300 and whatever this is, day 400, I'm learning new things about myself. And it was really beautiful. But I think Laverne's point and. And. And the conversation that we're having here is that some things have to be for you. And what. Once you share it, once you open that door, you can't close that door. And once you let people in on certain aspects of your life or your experience, they then feel entitled to it. And then you have all of these people who are experiencing burnout because they're vlogging every day. They're churning out all this content. It's like, you need to have time for yourself offline. To process your emotions and, and share things like everything doesn't have to be content. And I think the platforms have encouraged this very off the cuff. I'm in a fight with my partner, so I'm gonna get on TikTok and I'm gonna share everything about the fight. And then, then it goes viral and then the person that you're fighting with, they. And then your boss and then dah.
[00:25:29] Speaker C: Dah, dah, I get it.
[00:25:31] Speaker D: But it's like, oh my God. You don't, you don't realize that, like, you can't, you can't take that stuff back.
There's beauty in saying, I processed this thing. You're still being vulnerable and real. But I now have a year, six months distance from it and I can share it in a way that's not going to bite me in the ass later, you know.
[00:25:50] Speaker C: You know, one person I want to probably talk to and see and get their perception on that is Gigi Gorgeous. And the reason I say that is because I think that Gigi, Gigi's one of those examples that I, I talk to the girls about in the sense that, because, you know, I know being in the tech field, in the tech industry and whatnot, but also being one of the girls and being in the space of things, you know, they see someone like a Gigi Gorgeous and they, you know, there's so many, I know that so many girls want to be sort of like, you know, the black.
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[00:27:28] Speaker C: Gigi Gorgeous. And there's space for that. But. And the reality is, the reality is that person who is even a Step ahead, I would say, of even the Kim Kardashian. Is Amaya Scott like, Amaya Scott was that for so long, she put. She put girls on lace front wigs before Beyonce and any of them knew how to what a color lace foot wig was she. But with Gigi, she built a career in the beginning off of showing her transition day by day as she came into herself. But Gigi, what I try to tell the girls about Gigi is, but Gigi worked. So the difference in the situation as far as even her coming out of the vlogging thing, there's a business behind what she does with the makeup reviews, with the, you know, all the things and shooting the video and doing all the things. So the work behind the look, the idea of being Gigi gorgeous, is a lot of things that a lot of people. The consistency and all of that is a lot of things that people can't get to. So I think that consistency, though, is conflated with no boundaries. You know, it, like, because we're just constantly trying to create content. So it's like, everything is content in order to create consistency.
[00:28:48] Speaker D: Yeah. And then I think it is a delicate balance. And for me, like, I, again, I'm thankful that I've had the longevity that I've had, but it's also given me the ability to, like, figure out what I want to share and what I don't share. Like, for example, I had a podcast with my ex husband, and I don't regret it, but, like, I would never do that again. Like, whoever I'm dating is like, no, you, you. Not on my social media. I don't.
[00:29:15] Speaker C: But a lot of people do that now. You see a couple podcasts all the time now.
[00:29:19] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. Oh, listen again. And so, you know, who am I to judge, right? Like, I've been there. I shared all sorts of shit on that podcast. And again, I have the hindsight of, like, well, I made that mistake. I will not do that again. Right. I had a regular job for a big part of my YouTube career, and I did not share the details of my job. I, you know, you see my apartment, I don't show you where I live. I don't show you the outside of my apartment. I don't show, you know, the cross streets when I'm outside. I. I want my privacy. Right. Versus there are people are like, you know, do an apartment tour. And I'm like, why? So you can roll up in here and know where my shit is? No, you go see this one corny corner. You know what I mean, so again, you're right. I think we are.
[00:30:05] Speaker C: But I love the scandal, though. I love the scandal of you painting.
[00:30:12] Speaker D: Oh, God.
[00:30:14] Speaker C: Why did that become such a thing? Like it was.
[00:30:17] Speaker D: Here's my theory. I have a theory behind this. So, like, for the listeners, I painted every wall of my apartment. And it's so funny because ironically, my apartment's like this colorful. I say it looks like a whimsical. It's whimsical.
[00:30:31] Speaker C: That's why I wore this top today for you, because I was just like, I gotta wear something whimsical for Francesco.
[00:30:37] Speaker D: Thank you. Thank you. Well, it's funny because I. I did all of this at the height of the pandemic when I was genuinely, like, very depressed and didn't. Couldn't leave my apartment, you know, and so I. I had a video go viral at the end of 2023 about painting my apartment and how I'm. I have made peace with the fact that I'm not going to paint my apartment back, so I will not get my deposit when I eventually move. And it went viral, but people were very upset about it. And I think it's twofold.
One, the landlord community was very upset. And I didn't. I didn't know there was a landlord community. And they were like, bitch, I would sue you. I would. You would never have a place to live. And I was like, but why?
[00:31:20] Speaker C: Usually in most leases, it says you're able to paint as long as you're either willing to paint it back or pay the cost of have it painted.
[00:31:27] Speaker D: Right, exactly. And that's what my lease says. But I also live in a building that's managed by a company. It's not an individual. And so I think a lot of people were projecting. You know, they own a rental property, and it's very expensive, and da, da, da, da, da. And I'm like, that's not my situation. I live, you know, Angelica, I live in a luxury building in Los Angeles.
[00:31:46] Speaker C: Baby.
[00:31:47] Speaker D: Yes, my deposit can absolutely cover it. They're fine. Then there was also the added layer of. And I think that you can understand this part. As a black woman, when I do something on the Internet, when I take up space, there is a contingency of people that are like, I don't like black people doing that. I don't. Oh, did. I did.
[00:32:11] Speaker C: No.
[00:32:11] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah.
[00:32:11] Speaker C: No, they're. No, no, no. Yeah. They're like. They're like, excuse me. I have a comment on what you're doing.
[00:32:19] Speaker D: You're like, you're not allowed to do that. You know, it's, it's, it's, it's not the same, but it's similar to when you see a plus size girl on the Internet. There will be people in the comments that are like, you can't wear that. No, no, no, you can't wear that.
[00:32:34] Speaker C: Absolutely.
[00:32:34] Speaker D: She's wearing it and you're seeing it and you're unhappy about it because you're like, how dare, how dare she like her body? When you see, when they see a queer couple who is loving each other, they are like, I don't like you, so you're not supposed to like yourself. You're not supposed to be happy. A black woman who's like, yeah, this money is gone. And I'm okay with that. They're like, I, I'm wherever my financial situation, I can't do that. So she shouldn't be able to do that.
[00:33:02] Speaker C: Absolutely.
[00:33:02] Speaker D: Somebody that I see as less than should not be able to take up space. Should not be able to live Apartment girl. Did you know, whatever it might be.
[00:33:13] Speaker C: Did you see the club? I mean, I mean, not the, but just, you know, this is a sideline, but did you see Monique on Club Shay? Shay.
[00:33:19] Speaker D: I didn't watch all of it, but I've seen, I've seen the, many of the highlights.
[00:33:22] Speaker C: Yes, I have to finish watching it. But yeah, I think that that was one of the things that, I mean.
[00:33:27] Speaker D: There was, she said something very similar about a plus size black woman or.
[00:33:32] Speaker C: Short or if you're trans or whatever it is. They don't want to hear truth coming from that person.
[00:33:39] Speaker D: No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. And it, and again, it's in the same vein taking up space and, and loving who you are in spite of a world that says that you're not supposed to is very disorienting.
[00:33:54] Speaker C: You bald headed.
[00:33:57] Speaker D: They love to call me, but yes, I, I chose to be bald. Why is this, why is this an insult? You just stating facts about my life.
[00:34:08] Speaker C: So, okay, so, okay, so. Because there's so much Fran, because we have it. We got to, we got to, we have to have conversations. So many conversations. Because there's so much I want jumped around. I know. No, no, this is what we, this is what I know. This is what it is because from, you know, with this podcast, no opportunity wasted. You know, it is with my Buddhist lens and for me, I, the thing that I most want people to understand about it is that Buddhism is reason.
So a lot of the things, and even the conversations and things that we're talking about I mean, like, you know, I could go into talking about a spiritual sort of lesson just from the things that we're talking about, because that's the way that Buddhism approaches it. We don't need, like, we don't. We have our texts, but we practice in a way where we don't need it. So for me, this podcast is a intention to create dialogue that talks about the daily challenges and the opportunities that we're dealing with, but with a dialogue that is reasonable. Yeah, and that's. So that's. That's what we've been doing is just having this, you know, reasonable dialogue about how we're approaching these funny yet hilarious and annoying, you know, sort of situations. We're in a time right now in culture where, like, again, your podcast, I have to say it again, if you don't already subscribe to Let Me Fix it, you need to subscribe to Let Me Fix It. It is so funny and on point with how you give suggestions, maybe, or guide. What would you, what would you say? How would you describe.
[00:36:00] Speaker D: So we've been, we've been saying that Let Me Fix it is like John Oliver meets Shark Tank. So every episode we look at something in history or in culture, we review it and then we pitch how would we fix it? And it really came out of my, my friendship with my best friend Delon, where we're always talking about, oh, what if that movie was rebooted? Oh, what happened to that person's career? Oh, why, why don't we talk about this thing anymore? And it was always coming from this place of, if I could, if I was in charge, I would fix it. Here's how I would fix it. And so we really liked kind of going back to what you were talking about before, just kind of creating your own lane where there are lots of podcasts about pop culture. There are lots of podcasts about what happened in the news this week or what's trending or what's going viral. And so we were like, how can we cut through the noise and do something that feels like us but is different and still adds to the conversation? And so our show is evergreen. If everybody's talking about Monique this week, we're talking about the downfall of the shopping mall. Right. So we're talking about something that you can listen to at any time. And the thing that I love the most about it is that it's grounded in my friendship, a 20 year friendship with Delon. So we are talking about things from the past in the world, but we're also saying what were you doing in 1992? What was happening? What was your favorite store in the mall?
[00:37:28] Speaker C: Your first. This isn't your first time at the rodeo. This is not your first podcast. So. So advice time a little bit. You know, number one, if you can give us a little rundown of what. Where is this in the line of podcasts for you? But also what does it look like to create, to edit, to learn, to learn, and then to pivot and maybe because each. Each thing, when you're talking about.
When you're talking about let me fix it, or you're talking about like your American Idol podcast, you know, these are very neat. These are very specific perspectives. So what did you learn over the time of creating your first podcast to now to where you are now?
[00:38:14] Speaker D: Yeah, so I think the. The biggest lesson with Delon and I is that we've done so much what I would call pre production, meaning we script out and do a ton of research before each episode. We are not just talking off the top of our heads. We have a script in front of us. Like you and I talked at the top of the show. It's a combination of. Of dialogue, but then also like bulleted things where sometimes we'll play games, for example, and I won't put the details of the game in the doc because I want Delon's natural reaction. But then sometimes we will have jokes where I want to set up a specific punchline and so the joke will be written out as dialogue. Delon says this, Francesca says this, and then we pass it back and forth. I write one episode, he writes one episode, then we switch the dock between us. That's something that I just learned over the course of my previous podcast with my ex husband. I felt like we were always like, at the very last minute throwing shit together. Like we would be recording at 11:00am, 11:00am, we would be up at 8:00am throwing that doc together. And so I told Delon, I don't want to do that. I want us to have like a long lead time. You are responsible for one, I'm responsible for another. We put it on the calendar and we say, you will get a copy of that doc Friday night. We are recording on Wednesday, so Friday. So we have like a really good schedule in that way.
As for juggling multiple podcasts, I'm hosting a podcast for Wondery called Black History for Real with Conscious Lee that just came out.
[00:39:47] Speaker C: Oh, my goodness. I gotta subscribe to that. Oh, my.
[00:39:50] Speaker D: It's great. It's great. And so. And that's been an interesting Experience, because I'm not producing that.
I am the host. I do. I do more rewriting than I would honestly like. But I'm learning a lot just by working with a new team of people to say to them, like, look, if we're recording the episode on Tuesday, I need the script by Monday at least so that I have time to read it before I go into the studio. I don't want to be reading it cold.
[00:40:18] Speaker C: Right?
[00:40:18] Speaker D: I don't. I don't. I can do it, but I would rather not that.
[00:40:21] Speaker C: Also, I think that's a way of communicating that you are not just a robot that shoots things off again. Like, again, Oprah would say about the news, people that just read the news off of the thing, you have insight.
[00:40:36] Speaker D: I can do it. I can do it, but I would rather know what I'm talking about, you know? And then I have another podcast at Audible that's coming out later this year. And one thing that I learned through that process, and again, I'm sure you've had this, too. For those of us who juggle multiple jobs, you have to remind people you're working with, this is not my only job. Because they'll be like, hey, can we record tonight? No, I have plans tonight. I have a life, and I have other people that I work with. So you have to, like, kind of teach people how to work with you. So there were times I had to say to them, hey, you need to give me multiple days notice if you need me to turn around, you know, you need me to rerecord some things, right? Or we were doing an interview with so and so you need. You can't day of ask me to do something. You need to give me advance notice.
So those are things that I. That I learned from all of these different things. And in terms of advice, you know, I think that the biggest thing with podcasts, especially, because the market is very saturated, very. You have to figure out what your unique lane is. There are so many people. I want to do a pop culture podcast. Get in line, mama. Everybody has a fucking pop culture podcast. What makes your pop culture podcast different? Maybe we're only talking about moms. Maybe we're talking about celebrity dogs. Maybe we're talking about celebrity restaurants. Whatever it is, like, you have to niche down.
[00:42:09] Speaker C: Well, that's what I actually, I had a meeting with. I had. I had a meeting with Shondaland, and then I also had a meeting with Higher Ground, Obama's production company. And through meetings with them, we had. They were great meetings, and they were Very excited about, you know, the podcast. But we ended up coming to a place where we understood that I, I, I just didn't need them. I didn't need a production company when I was bringing what I was bringing to the table.
But, you know, they encouraged me to, because most of my life what I've been doing is finding a way to slip in the spiritual spirituality and slip in the stuff. And it's all, it's in all my interviews, it's a lot of the stuff that I talk about is just kind of there. And they encouraged me to lean more heavily into it for the podcast and actually centered around that, you know, and so that's when, that's where this came from, where it was like, okay, well, the reality is I do want to stand more in my, and I'll say authority in just the way that I know you use the word as well when we, you talk about being an authority in a space and knowing what you're talking about. I've been practicing for 13 years. And so after 13 years of practice, I know I've known how to administer this Buddhist practice to certain aspect of my own life for certain things, but I now know how to communicate in a, again, universal way that shares the spirituality and the gems of Buddhism with people in a very broken down way. That's why each episode we do like Buddhist breadcrumbs. We do, you know, certain things. So, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm so far is getting a great response from folks because I get to sit in all the places that I sit in, in both being spiritually centered, but also because I'm an advocate and a activist for human rights and all those things or whatever, and preparing to run for office and all of that.
[00:44:15] Speaker D: Oh, I didn't, I didn't know that we were officially. Because I've been holding on to this secret ever since you told me. Ever since you told me. I was like, oh my God, when, when do we let everybody know?
No, I was, that's awesome.
[00:44:29] Speaker C: Thank you. And I, yes, I, I. What? I, I have been talking about the process because what I am using this about as well is, you know, I don't want to fall into the pitfalls. I don't know what her pitfalls are, and I'm definitely going to talk to her eventually about those. But with Marianne Williamson, like, I love her books and her spiritual take and perspective on things, but when it comes to politics, people are not taking her serious.
[00:44:57] Speaker D: Well, also, her politics are not to the point, to your point. About the spirituality. It feels like a lot of her politics are in conflict with her spirituality. Because how you, a spiritual person, you can't admit that, like, slavery happened. Right? Like, how can you.
[00:45:13] Speaker C: Wait, but wait, but you're talking about Nikki. You talking about Nikki Haley.
[00:45:17] Speaker D: Oh, look, look at, Let me. I'm just putting everybody together.
[00:45:19] Speaker C: Wait.
[00:45:19] Speaker D: Yes, please do.
[00:45:23] Speaker C: But this is, this is. I think the issue with Marianne is that I be talking to people about Marianne and everything they say, and I'm like, what? Like, because I'm like, how do you get that? Because I know, like, Marianne's a Democrat. She's running against Joe Biden. Like, she's running to be in the.
[00:45:41] Speaker D: You know, Is she running this year? I haven't heard anything from her.
Look, first of all, I thought she was Nikki Haley. Then I thought she was a Republican, and then I was like, she's running. Yeah, girl, I don't know.
[00:45:56] Speaker C: You're in California.
[00:45:58] Speaker D: Yeah, well, I'm still registered in New York, so.
I'm still registered in New York. I will be voting absentee. Okay, but you bring up a really good point. This is, this is illustrating your point perfectly, that the messaging around her is confusing and that people don't necessarily understand who she is or her platform is. I do think of her as, like, kooky crystals, but she has a strong.
[00:46:26] Speaker C: Very strong perspective on reparations. And she's been able to. She's been able to come into several spaces over the years. When she was on the last, last election cycle with them, she brought up reparations. And her commentary on it is insanely searing. And, like, she's one of the few that are actually talking about reparations in a real way, in what ways we can actually do it and why we need to do it. Because America will always continue to experience what it's experiencing because it's not atoning for the things and ignoring and gaslighting folks from the experience that's happening. So she's been able to articulate that as well as America being poor in spirit. And so our issue with poverty and the ways in which we can very real, address a problem but be up, but our pride. So she has a way. I think I've seen her address things in a spiritual way that address policy, but it gets lost in translation.
[00:47:28] Speaker D: It clearly does. Because I'm like, that sounds legit. And I definitely have. Not her. I, I, I feel like when, when she's talked about, people are like, she is weird. She is out there. She's kooky. That that's how I, you know that that music is playing underneath like that. That's how I, and that's why I.
[00:47:53] Speaker C: Have been tiptoeing myself up to this point of speaking spiritually because and again and I come from a very real Monique Cat Williams loose candid space. But I'm now coming to and fine tuning myself in this space because what I know is that we are in the position we're in right now. Because at the very least, let me break it down to its very basics.
When we talk about changing the world and that cliche be the change you want to see in the world, well, the reality.
[00:48:36] Speaker D: Start with yourself. Yeah.
[00:48:38] Speaker C: And the reality is, is that our environments are a reflection of us. And sometimes there's a reflection we're not not necessarily having a conversation with, especially in the ways of how do I engage with this, how do I take what is my part of my reflection in this and what is not and what is the rest of that picture? You know what I mean? So we're in a space right now where I feel that people have been manipulated, are being manipulated by whether it is religion or an algorithm, they're being, they're being manipulated with their response, meaning their attention is being arrested and their courage to respond to the environment they're in. Whether it's patriarchy, whether it's racism, whether it's, you know, war and genocide and xenophobia or whatever.
We, they got us where they want us in a place where we feel like we actually.
Who's going to fit? We're keep asking who is going to fix this but don't understand. It's not going to get fixed unless.
[00:49:49] Speaker B: All of us fix it. All right, I hope you're enjoying the conversation so far. Stay tuned for part two that we're going to release on Friday.
But before we go, let's drop another Buddhist breadcrumb and talk about courage.
Shakyamuni taught that the shallow is easy to embrace, but the profound is difficult. And to discard the shallow and seek the profound is the way of a person of courage. Now, I bring this up because I think collectively that we're starting to lack some courage in the current political climate.
We got to refrain from reaching for what's convenient and superficial and we got to begin to dig deeper in dialogue with each other and have the courage to actually say what needs to be said and to do what needs to be done. Daisaku Ikeda says in these compassionless and self centered times where people are only concerned about themselves and give little thought to others.
We of the SGI have chanted for the happiness of our friends, prayed for the prosperity of our local community and society, and wholeheartedly we exert ourselves for kosen rufu, or world peace.
We understand that no one exists in isolation and that we can both take responsibility for our influencing the environment as well as being inspired by, motivated by how each of us are figuring out how to overcome our daily challenges and create a life worth celebrating.
So this week, I want you to celebrate yourself and celebrate whoever brings inspiration and value, joy and love to your life. No opportunity wasted.
